Why did the Mexican man throw his wife out of the window...
Ta kill her.
HI Jokes
Why did the orphan say, "Help?" He needed his brother.
The boy was sexually frustrated that he couldn’t have sex with girls, so he fingered his female cat.
Hi, my name is Crappy. I like tacos and more tacos and more tacos and more tacos and more tacos and more tacos and ya now GET LOST!
Why did Stephen Hawking die? His ethernet cable fell out.
Wanna know why Stephen Hawking died?
He lost his Wi-Fi connection.
Hi, I'm stupid!
Hi, I'm a skeleton and I know a skele-TON of jokes!
Congratulations to Avicii for passing his 3-day milestone of sobriety!
Why did ze cow cross the road?
yo watch his mum getting butchered she was an udder failure.
Jake grabbed Lina's thigh and said, "Why don't we have sex? I really wanna see your boobs. I bet they're hot." "Yeah, they are." She took her clothes off and he saw her body. "OMG GODDESS OF BOOBS, PUSSYS AND BUTT LETS HAVE SEX LOOK AT MY..." HE WOKE UP THEN CRIED AND KISSED HIS SISTER'S BUTT. SHE SMACKED HIM THEN HE TOOK HER TO HIS BASEMENT AND KILLED HER FROM SEX.
How did Jesus kill himself?
He fell from his bike.
How many times did he die?
Once on a bike and once when he fell from a cloud in Heaven.
A man told his love interest she looked beautiful.
And then his love interest told him she had loads of things to tell him.
And after 3 minutes, she told him he looked fat, ugly, disgusting, creepy, and tiny.
Then the police came and arrested her for saying that.
Why did the orphan kill himself when he found out who his dad was? Because he found out his dad was Donald Trump.
Louis' IQ is like his running; always two points below average.
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed.
One fell off and bumped his head.
The momma called the doctor and the doctor said,
"Why the heck were my children jumping on a bed?"
To be brutally honest, I think his wife let him die for money, because they could just plug him back in. Surely they have an Android cable about?
Once, there was a man that was coming to my house and peeing in my yard. Then the man came back to my house and flopped his penis everywhere and peed at the same time, and it went all over my face.
So the next day, he came back, and I got my BB gun and shot a metal BB into his peepee.
This didn't actually happen.
The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent, but had not phoned in.
Needing to have an urgent work problem resolved, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted by a child's whisper, "Hello."
"Is your Mummy home?" he asked.
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with her?"
The child whispered, "No."
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Daddy there?"
"Yes."
"May I talk with him?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No."
Hoping there was someone with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anyone else there?"
"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy," whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?"
"Talking to the ambulancemen and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.
Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A helicopter," answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed a helicopter."
Alarmed, confused, and a little frustrated, the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle..."Me!"
What’s white and sticky? A white man's penis after taking care of his neighbor's dog.
