HI jokes

What does an Irish bowler put in his hands to guarantee a wicket next ball?

A bat.

His new music video has been leaked. It’s called “Living in a Tree.”

How did the orphan go to school?

Not by his parents.

Why did the orphan start crying?

Because his apple found a home in his stomach.

Why does Joe only have 264 days in his calendar?

Because he can't celebrate Father's Day.

Guys, the person that said "suck a dick" was Mase. His real name is Mason, so ya.

"I work with animals," a man said on his Tinder date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who works with animals. Where do you work?" "At the butcher shop!"

Some people say I'm rude, but I think I'm pretty nice because the other day I saw this kid crying on the road and I asked him where his parents were. I just love looking at an orphanage.

Why was Stephen Hawking always like this 🫠?

Because he didn’t have emojis on his computer.

Give a man a plane ticket, and he’ll fly for a day.

Push a man from a plane, and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.

How do you make an orphan's hand bleed?

Tell him to clap until his parents come back.

Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?

He was roasted.

When you get suspended from school for giving the deaf kid AirPods for his birthday.

You go up to a bar and say, "Hi." He doesn’t look at you. You keep saying, "Hi." He says, "What?" Then you realize that he is the one that you stole his lady from, but then he doesn’t give you any drink. You say, "Why?" He screams at you and then says, "YOU'RE FIVE!"

When the C.I.A. raided Osama Bin Laden’s house, they found Steam on his computer. This means he was a gamer. He raged a little too hard and went for New York.

Devil: Hey angel.

Angel: Hi devil, why are you nice?

Devil: What do angels add to their food to make it a little more spicy?

Angel: What?

Devil: Angelpinos!

Why did the orphan dig six feet under?

To find his parents.

I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."

(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)

What does a bad friend give a blind kid for his birthday?

Give him a gun and tell him it's a hairdryer.

Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."