HI jokes
Guys, the person that said "suck a dick" was Mase. His real name is Mason, so ya.
"I work with animals," a man said on his Tinder date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who works with animals. Where do you work?" "At the butcher shop!"
Some people say I'm rude, but I think I'm pretty nice because the other day I saw this kid crying on the road and I asked him where his parents were. I just love looking at an orphanage.
Why does Joe only have 264 days in his calendar?
Because he can't celebrate Father's Day.
How do you make an orphan's hand bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come back.
Memes
Why did the author go to the emergency room?
His editor told him he needed an appendix removed.
Why did the Drill Sergeant get in trouble?
He got caught playing with his Privates!
Why did the orphan start crying?
Because his apple found a home in his stomach.
Yo mama is so strict that Thanos couldn't collect the Infinity Stones until he had done his homework.
Go to an orphanage and tell a kid his parents came back.
I asked an orphan where his mom was. He started crying, so I said it again.
And well, that was my last day at the orphanage.
What does an Irish bowler put in his hands to guarantee a wicket next ball?
A bat.
How did the orphan go to school?
Not by his parents.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
He thought he saw his parents.
Oasis, am I right?
You go up to a bar and say, "Hi." He doesn’t look at you. You keep saying, "Hi." He says, "What?" Then you realize that he is the one that you stole his lady from, but then he doesn’t give you any drink. You say, "Why?" He screams at you and then says, "YOU'RE FIVE!"
When the C.I.A. raided Osama Bin Laden’s house, they found Steam on his computer. This means he was a gamer. He raged a little too hard and went for New York.
Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?
Because he wanted to win no-bell prize!
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
*Aye, Matey!*
WARNING: READ THIS JOKE ALOUD!
Was it the pills that stopped his coughing, or was it the coffin they carried him off in?
How did the shark do on his math test?
Jawesome!