How did the orphan go to school?
Not by his parents.
HI Jokes
Why did the orphan cross the road?
He thought he saw his parents.
Oasis, am I right?
You go up to a bar and say, "Hi." He doesn’t look at you. You keep saying, "Hi." He says, "What?" Then you realize that he is the one that you stole his lady from, but then he doesn’t give you any drink. You say, "Why?" He screams at you and then says, "YOU'RE FIVE!"
When the C.I.A. raided Osama Bin Laden’s house, they found Steam on his computer. This means he was a gamer. He raged a little too hard and went for New York.
Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?
Because he wanted to win no-bell prize!
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
*Aye, Matey!*
WARNING: READ THIS JOKE ALOUD!
Was it the pills that stopped his coughing, or was it the coffin they carried him off in?
How did the shark do on his math test?
Jawesome!
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
He wiped his ass.
What did the bison say to his son leaving for school?
"Bye son!"
Get it? Bye son, Bison!
Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!
What does a Jewish man say when he sees a caricature of his face?
"We need to circumcise that one."
One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.
They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.
What is my favorite thing about my grandpa?
His life insurance.
Why was the slave so happy? Because he got his master's degree.
Why do orphans like to go to church?
So they have someone to call father.
If you're bored, punch an orphan in the face. What is he gonna do, tell his parents?
What did Yoda say to Luke during his wedding ceremony?
"May divorce be with you."
There was a guy called Manners, one called Poo, and one called Shut Up.
One day, Manners was on his way to pick up Poo from school. A police officer stopped Shut Up and said:
Police: "What’s you name?"
Shut Up: "Shut Up."
Police: "Where's your manners?!"
Shut Up: "Picking up Poo."
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.
Father: Son, you can do butter!
The one thing I love about Steven is he stood up for all of his haters. Just kidding!
