HI jokes
When I went to the basketball pitch, I saw a man dribbling his own balls.
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
*Aye, Matey!*
WARNING: READ THIS JOKE ALOUD!
Was it the pills that stopped his coughing, or was it the coffin they carried him off in?
Hi 👋 I love you!
Q: Why did the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz win an award?
A: Because he was outstanding in his field.
Memes
Kid: I want to be Batman.
Okay, when he gets home, his parents are dead.
What did the bison say to his son leaving for school?
"Bye son!"
Get it? Bye son, Bison!
Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?
Because he wanted to win no-bell prize!
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
He wiped his ass.
How did the shark do on his math test?
Jawesome!
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.
Father: Son, you can do butter!
The one thing I love about Steven is he stood up for all of his haters. Just kidding!
Did you hear about the man that got fired from his can job? It was soda-pressing.
What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite food?
His shoulder.
There was a guy called Manners, one called Poo, and one called Shut Up.
One day, Manners was on his way to pick up Poo from school. A police officer stopped Shut Up and said:
Police: "What’s you name?"
Shut Up: "Shut Up."
Police: "Where's your manners?!"
Shut Up: "Picking up Poo."
What do you call a Mexican that has lost his car?
Carlos!
Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!
What is my favorite thing about my grandpa?
His life insurance.
What does a Jewish man say when he sees a caricature of his face?
"We need to circumcise that one."
Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.