HI jokes

What does a Trump supporter use to load his/her AR-15?

A MAGAzine.

I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home.

So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.

He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"

She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."

What did the snail say to his ex-wife?

"I'm still leaving you!"

What is a geographical discovery? Little Johnny found his geography homework undone.

I punched an orphan and told him to go back to his parents and tell them about it... Oh, wait.

I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea, then asked for his parents.

God, orphanages are fun to work at!!

What do you say to a person who got his whole left side cut off? "Are you all right?!"

He's got a massive f*cking cock, Ayew, Ayew. He tucks it in his football sock, Ayew, Ayew. Shagged a bird and now she's dead, Swung his cock around her head, Jordan Ayew Palace number nine.

A kid had school today.

He was late every single day. He said in his mind, "I wish I can go to school again." What happened? It's obvious...... He died :)

My son said that bully needs a pounding, then I say, "Yeah, right, that is what I said and did to your mother." My son opens his mouth and freezes. I guess he knew what I was talking about.

Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours.

Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

When you say to your friend, "I've got your back," then at his funeral you see in his coffin he's missing his middle piece.

A kid asks his father, "How long is our trip, Dad?"

The kid's father says, "Our trip is a Fortnite."

Hi, I love you. You know I do. What a good night of a good time and time to go, oooo!

How did Stephen Hawking die?

His core i5 Overheated. XD

What did the mouse 🐭 say when his friend broke their teeth?

Hard cheese! 🧀😂

Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids?

To tie his kangaroo down, sport!

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

Aye, matey!