Why did the pig decline to go to the farmer's house?
He would take him to a "pignic."
My son caught me masturbating he asked me "what are you doing?" and I said "don't worry son you'll be doing it soon" he asks "why is that?" and I said "my arm's getting tired".
Goofy ahh grandpa fell down the stairs, and he said, "Damn!"
What's the difference between God and Ron DeSantis?
God does not think he is Ron DeSantis.
If I flip off an Asian person, he can't see it.
When the person who killed JFK heard "headshot."
when the north tower saw the south tower collapse he would say "I'm still standing".
When the South Tower saw the North Tower collapse, he said, "I'm still standing."
jeffrey dahmer likes his men how he likes his coffee black and ground up
Me going to jail for telling the orphan he has 363 days because mothers and Father’s Day.
A Roman went to the bar and he held up two fingers and said, "Can I have five drinks, please?"
Do you want to know what gifts God gave me?
He didn't give me any.
I was made by the Devil.
A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.
The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"
why was the orphan so successful?, because his options where to go bigger or go home he only had one choice. :)
I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.
I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.
My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.
Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.
She lets him play anyway and I don't.
After I see an anime boy acting cool,
Me at school acting cool:
My brothers: "He's just acting cool."
Me: I'm gonna kill u 0.0
Bro, I gave a suicidal kid Nikes... he just did it, lol.
A child's parents once lived in Chicago.
I wonder why he's in an orphanage now.
What’s the difference between Kendrick Lamar and an orphan?
He has family ties.
