Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.
Hes Jokes
My best friend was recently gunned down in a drive-by shooting and died a virgin, but he wasn’t buried one.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie?
He can’t walkie or talkie.
If Will Smith could be in any movie, he would be in "Find My Hairline."
A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.
A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”
A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."
A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor!"
Jill goes home one night with a guy she met at a club. He's tall, super hot, and seems different than most guys she meets. They arrive at his place and head straight to his room. Jill can't help but notice a shelf full of teddy bears. On the bottom are small teddy bears, on the middle are medium-sized teddy bears, and finally, on the top are large teddy bears, all lined up beside each other.
She begins to think that he is sentimental and sweet, and isn't afraid to show it. Her heart melts and she want to give him the best night of his life. She gives him a blowjob, and lets him really give it to her, and even takes it in the rear! In the morning, she slowly gets dressed, and smiles at him and asks, "How was that?" He nods and says, "Not too fuckin' bad at all. Help yourself to a prize on the second shelf!"
Why did the rapper become a gardener?
Because he wanted to drop some ROOT RHYMES.
Why did the DJ go to jail?
Because he dropped the bass too hard!
Why did the rapper become a fisherman?
Because he wanted to reel in the BEST HOOKS.
Why was the rapper always calm?
Because he had a lot of chill flows.
Shit! My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs! I've been his customer for 4 years, but I had no idea he was a barber.
What does Yoda say when he’s at the strip club?
"Dirty bitch, you are."
Why did the rapper become a barber?
Because he loved to drop FRESH CUTS.
Why did the rapper refuse to play cards?
Because he was tired of dealing with all the jokers.
I asked Daveon if he ever considered trying something new, and he replied "why fix what ain't broke?"
Daveon is so straight, he thinks a straight line is the shortest distance between two points and nothing else.
Daveon is so straight, he can't even handle a slight bend in the road.
