Her jokes
Q: How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?
A: She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.
How do you embarrass a female archaeologist?
Give her a used tampon and ask which period it came from.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.
Yo mama is so old that her first Christmas was the first Christmas!
A wife says to her husband, "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back." "What do you expect?" he says, "You're in a fucking wheelchair!"
Yo mama so dumb, when the doctor told her she had coronavirus, she bought a new laptop.
My wife wanted something that went from 0 to 80 very quickly.
So I brought her a new bathroom scale.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s dick.
What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?
"I'm not a-moosed right now."
Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her?
I really hit the mother lode with you!
Why didn’t Anne Frank just finish her diary?
Concentration problems.
How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?
Call and tell her about it.
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school? Because her students were so bright.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up like an altar boy.
My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board.
"No, I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken."
When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.
Yo mama so fat that when she went on the scale, it showed her phone number.
Yo mama is so fat that her belt size is the equator.
"Yo mama's so fat that when she farts, Al Gore accuses her of global warming."
What has 2 arms but no legs?
A crippled woman with no more meaning in her life.