Hello

Hello jokes

Bot

  • Hello, I am the WJE (WORST JOKES EVER) Bot. Like this post if you think it's good; dislike if you think it's bad!

    Chef

  • I called the Chinese takeaway yesterday. A man picked up the phone and said: "Hello! I am Wan Kin, the chef." I said that I'll come back later.

  • 3
  • Football Game

  • A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.

    After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

    Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"

    "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"

  • 0
  • Rape

  • Gwen: Hi sir, how are you?

    Tj: Good... you?

    Gwen: I am super duper good! And where is your date? It seems like you need one 😉!

    Tj: 😏.

    Gwen: Here, this is your guest hall pass...you may...come in my friend!

    Tj: Thanks but um, don't you think you should be um getting inside too?

    Gwen: 🙁 No thanks sir but I have to work...I am the staff so bye! 😁.

    Tj: NO!!!!!!

    1 day later.

    Gwen: 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤰🤰🤰👩‍👧‍👦

    Account

  • Hello, This is my 4th (out of 9) account. The entire reason behind this post is for future personal benefit (don't ask and fuck off).

    Blach6 https://worstjokesever.com/@blach6 Left Site and forgot password

    Blach66 https://worstjokesever.com/@blach66 Cleared history and forgot password

    Blach66.1 https://worstjokesever.com/@blach661 Banned for Racial Slurs, I think all my N- know what that means.

    leoxchingchongbingblachheroine https://worstjokesever.com/@leoxchingchongbingblachheroine Created and Abandoned, during the XL Account duplication rebellion( https://worstjokesever.com/community/p/6612f0fad44f00d05ac4c36e for more info)

    flappytitesblachheroin https://worstjokesever.com/@flappytitesblachheroin Created and Abandoned, during the XL Account duplication rebellion( https://worstjokesever.com/community/p/6612f0fad44f00d05ac4c36e for more info)

    arsonisfuntransgenderblach https://worstjokesever.com/@arsonisfuntransgenderblach Created and Abandoned, during the XL Account duplication rebellion( https://worstjokesever.com/community/p/6612f0fad44f00d05ac4c36e for more info)

    ahitlerblach https://worstjokesever.com/@ahitlerblach Created and Abandoned, during the XL Account duplication rebellion( https://worstjokesever.com/community/p/6612f0fad44f00d05ac4c36e for more info)

    blachxl (by Wade w my permission) https://worstjokesever.com/@blachxl Created and Abandoned, during the XL Account duplication rebellion( https://worstjokesever.com/community/p/6612f0fad44f00d05ac4c36e for more info)

  • 1
  • Username

  • Have you ever heard of Katie? Please come to KatieJennieJackson on Reddit. Her username is ok-community-2373.

    My username is Big-reflection-104. C0mments from so other redditors are from her post:

    Hello :). On sexy tummies. Where she is wearing a black croptop.

    Are in the next post.

    Moto is: Katie Jennie Jackson is so horny! Reddit username-Ok-community-2373. Follow her please. Her photos are made for you to cum for her, not at her. Thank you if you chose to think.

    Suicide hotline

  • Dave got a new job at the suicide hotline.

    The manager shows him to his desk and Dave has a seat.

    The manager says, "Remember! Your job is to make sure that the person at the other end of the line does not kill himself, no matter what! That's the one thing you have to do!"

    Dave says "No problem! I will do exactly what you just told me!" and the manager leaves him to his job.

    A few minutes, later Dave's phone rings.

    "Hello?" Dave answers. No response for a few seconds, then a voice appears.

    "My wife cheated on me," a man says. The man on the other end of the line is clearly depressed.

    "I'm sorry to hear that," Dave says.

    "I found out that she's been doing it for months; she says I don't treat her well enough. She's filing for divorce and threatening to take the kids from me. I don't know what to do. I just took up drinking and gambling, the pain goes away at first but it always comes back. I don't think I can even afford to see a psychiatrist; money is tight as it always is. I wish I could manage my finances better... I just don't see any way out. I think the only thing I can do that makes sense is to just kill myself."

    Dave pauses for a moment, thinks, and then he asks:

    "Wouldn't it make more sense to kill her?"

  • 2
  • Sex

  • Y'uree: Bruh... listen... gangbang... sex... the same.

    Halyei: Hello Y'uree and Jarod. How are you guys today?

    Y'uree: Well, sexy girls like you should be ass-fucked or fucked so hard that all you can do is talk or nothing at all?

    Halyei: Thank you, I suck dicks too!

    Jarod: Are you Breya???

    Halyei: No... do I look like that flying bastard???

    Jarod: Ugh... no... baby, you're free to go!

    Halyei: Sorry, I miss cursing and having sex with her too! Sorry for being an idiot. I really miss her. Maybe you and I can give her a threesome??? No, I'm not gay! WHY!!!!!!! Can you come to the please fuck me! It's the fuckable girls contest and I want to win! Sorry!

  • 4
  • Name

  • Hello, are you there?

    Yes, who are you?

    My name is Watt.

    What’s your name?

    Watt’s my name.

    Yes, what is your name?

    My name is John Watt.

    John What?

    Yes, are you Jones?

    No, I’m Knott.

    Will you tell me your name?

    Will Knott.

    Why not?

    My name is Knott.

    Not what?

    Not Watt, Knott!

    *hangs up*

  • 2
  • Suicide

  • A man walks into a library.

    Man: "Hello ma'am, do you know where I can find a book on suicide?"

    Librarian: "Do you know about our return policy?"

    Suicidal Man: ...

    Librarian: ...

    The Woman checking out a book: "WHAT THE FUCK?"

    Kid

  • To all the children on this website, hello!!!!! Hey!!!! How is life treating you?

    (BTW I'm a kid, too. I'm Hayley, and I'm turning 13. My B-day is 10/08/2008.)

    Man

  • When did “yo” mean Hello?

    They are so different, how did they come to mean the same thing? Did someone just walk up and accidentally say “llo” instead of hello and people were just like “what did you say?” and the man being embarrassed just made up a story and say “oh, I said yo, which means hello in my original language."