Officer sees a man and he is seeing he is having trouble walking, so he asked him, "Sir, are you drunk?" The man responds, "No, sir, I'm not drunk." So the officer asks, "How high are you?" And the man responds, "No sir, it's 'Hi, how are you?'"
[being buried alive]
Murderer: *out of breath* How are you eating the dirt so quickly?
I was 11 or 12 at the time.
Guy (passing me): "How are you doing?" Me, an autist: "Pretty bad honestly." Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...
If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."
me: calls suicide hotline. hotline lady: suicide hotline, how are you doing today? me: not much, just hanging.
Me: Hey, how are you?
Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3
Insomnia: Mommy, can we get a home?
Anxiety: Insomnia, wait for mommy to finish.
Depression: Anyway, here is my resume!
Me: Okie, thank you. Ok... mhmmm... WOW! Okie, this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it...)
Depression: Also, I have two more friends that want to move in too!
Me: Ok, and their names?
Depression: Their names are: PTSD and Trauma!
Me: Ok, they seem fine (Doesn't know about them)
Depression: Okie, here is the money (a penny :(). Thank you, we will call you if we need anything.
Me: Ok, see you soon! :3
Me now hates my life. :)
How are you and an orphan similar?
Both of your fathers are invisible.
Can [I] ask your sister how you are going for Christmas? And [to clarify,] I have internet.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knife." "Knife, who?" "How are you still alive? I just stabbed you!"
Gwen: Hi sir, how are you?
Tj: Good... you?
Gwen: I am super duper good! And where is your date? It seems like you need one 😉!
Tj: 😏.
Gwen: Here, this is your guest hall pass...you may...come in my friend!
Tj: Thanks but um, don't you think you should be um getting inside too?
Gwen: 🙁 No thanks sir but I have to work...I am the staff so bye! 😁.
Tj: NO!!!!!!
1 day later.
Gwen: 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤰🤰🤰👩👧👦
Sister: Hey sis, how are you today?
Me: Oh, good, you?
Sister: Good, 'cause I heard you finally got a good living life.
Hey Gwen, how are you? I'm a girl, btw...;)
teacher: “okay so how are you going?” student :“i’m not going” teacher” oh so your a wheelchair person”
🌍:You're so hot! 🌎:How are you single? ☀️:I burn anyone who gets too close!
hi mom how are you doing
friend: how's it going? me: good, things are good! parent: how are you? me: oh I'm fine! Twitter: compose new tweet? me: hellooooo l would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it
Hi how are you busy busy today and tomorrow I have to go home from home and walk home walk and a bike walk walk and a bike to school tomorrow night I have to have lunch with my mom and dad and I have dinner with you tonight
I was making holy water and my girlfriend walked in saying what are you doing and I said making holy water and she said how are you making holy water I'm boiling the h#ll out of it
[ when a cop meets a pothead on April 20th ]
Officer : Hi, how high are you?
Pothead : No officer, it's how are you
Officer : oh im sorry ive been high since last night
Pothead : cool, i'd like to give you sum weed, happy 420 sir
Officer : omg thx man appreciate that
Hi how are you? Are you good?
