A man comes to an assassin who charges $1000 per shot he tell the assassin my wife’s been cheating on me I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot the guy in the dick, when they arrive they wait the man asks why he hasn’t taken the shot the assassin says I know how I can save you $1000
If i had 10 dyno nuggies and Jamal tried to take one i would have ten dyno nuggies and Jamal's head
Little Johnny walks out to the garage, and sees Dad smoking a cigarette... He asks, "Hey Dad, can I have a puff of that cigarette??" Dad asks, "Well Johnny, can your dick reach your ass??" Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment... He then replies, "Well, No Dad, my dick can't reach my ass"... His Dad says, "There's your answer, Johnny..." Little Johnny goes back in the house...
About an hour later Little Johnny comes back out to the garage, and sees his Dad drinking a beer... He asks, "Hey Dad, can I have some of that beer??" Dad asks, "Well Johnny, can your dick reach your ass??" Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment... He then replies, "Well, No Dad, my dick can't reach my ass"... His Dad says, "There's your answer, Johnny..." Little Johnny goes back in the house...
About an hour later Little Johnny comes back out to the garage with a BIG plate of Tollhouse Chocolate Chip cookies, fresh from the oven... His Dad says, "WOW Johnny, those sure look like some good cookies... You think I can have some??" Little Johnny asks his Dad, "Well Dad, can your dick reach your ass??" His Dad scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment... He then replies, "Well, Yes Johnny, I do believe my dick can reach my ass"... Little Johnny says, "Well Dad, you can go FUKC yourself, cuz Mom made these cookies for me!!!"...
who got shot in the head, JFK did!!!!!
my brother said bruh why you so ugly plus why do you stink. me: is that supposed to be a roast i got one for you. why do you look like you came out the wrong side of your mother in stead of her stomach you came out of her butt that's why you were born with brown spots on your head thats her poop you stupid fuckface. my friends: ouch thats got ta hurt.
Mommy mommy! Are you an archer? Shut up and keep the apple on your head still.
JFK and Abraham Lincoln were terrible presidents, its like their heads were empty
The pastor sees little Johnny sitting on the church steps. Little Johnny is fixated on something. The pastor looks closer and sees that Johnny is stirring up something in an old coffee can. He says, "What you got there little Johnny?" "This here is turpentine, the most POWERFUL liquid in the world.", says Johnny. The pastor shakes his head, sits down next to Johnny and says, "Now you know that's not true son. Holy water is the most powerful liquid in the world. One drop of holy water on a pregnant woman's stomach and the next morning she'll pass a baby boy." Little Johnny says, "Well that may be true. But one drop of this on a cats ass and he'll pass a motorcycle!"
Did anyone JET my joke. It probably flew over your heads, oops I meant trough.
"why is your head big?" cause your a ball.
My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.But don't worry I think she was just jokinfkuy angvhkjah gkahnvulaunhuaivnhaviuhgfahnvulpu82y5
The first thing the emo did at the party is to pin the gun to there head
A young teen was walking home from school and having a nice day.
She gets home eats, showers, and heads to her room. The young teen hears her mother say something, not sure what she said the girl replies with "ok".
The young teen was gonna head to bed wondering when her mom was gonna come in and say goodnight she lays in bed, but then she hears her mom's voice say "Hunny I'm home", she doesn't bother to say ok.
Later when she decides to sleep she gets a message from her mom saying to unlock the door that she lost her keys. :)
-Dark_Humor
I know the voices in my head aren't real but man so they have some good ideas
Yo head built like 2 parentheses
A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him "What are you doing?!" Exclaims the priest
"There is nothing on this Earth for me." The Muslim says "I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!"
The priest shakes his head
"Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way!" He says
"Follow me, Ill take you to the local primary school."
FREE MY ÑIGGA EDP HE INNOCENT ONCE UPON A TIME I WENT OVER TO HIS HOUSE AND HE FARTED SO GAHDAMN MUCH INTO MY MOUTH THAT I STARTED DROOLING A HERSHEY WATERFALL THIS ÑIGGA IS SO SEXY AND I LOVE WHEN HE SITS HIS FAT ASS ON TOP OF ME TYSON U JUST JEALOUS YOU AIN’T GOT NO ONE LIKE BRYANT U RETARDED LOOKING ASS BITCH I DARE YOU TO GET A PARTNER AS LOYAL AND INNOCENT AS EDP FREE MY ÑIGGA BIG HOMIE CHEESE HEAD 474747 HE INNOCENT
There were 1 mom and 3 kids. The first kid comes up and asks why is my name daisy? The mom says because when you were born a daisy fell on your head. The second kid asks their mom why is my name butterfly? The mom says because when you were born a butterfly landed on your head. Then the third kid yells ahjoejienfkef. The mom says shut up brick!
Why do Indians have a red dot on their head
because there recording
when someone throws something at your forehead it stops moving and goes into orbit around your forehead
