Hazard jokes

Why don’t midgets wear tampons?

Because they’ll trip over the string.

Why does everyone say there are mines in Bosnia? There are no-

Health and safety tips: Looking at your hairline is hazardous. For your best interest, please look away.

Are you acid, cause I want to throw [you] at my face?

I am the danger.

You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!

What's something red that is bad for your teeth?

A brick.

How do you tell if a blond is really stupid?

Put a scratch and sniff on a bleach pod.

Are you a toaster?

'Cause I wanna take a bath with you.

God, you're more toxic than white phosphorus.

A father of five puts on a gas mask and a hazard suit and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked, "Dad, what are you wearing?"

The father answered with, "A costume for Halloween."

The child asked, "Can I join?" He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. After that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.

I will remember my brother's last words: if you can't put a fork in a toaster, how about a spoon?

What do you call my brother in the water?

"Tsunami."

Ty choked on DT’s willy.

You're so short you could be drowned by heavy rains.

I was looking forward to some toast...

So I took the toaster in the bath with me.

What’s red and bad for your dental health? A brick.

What’s invisible and bad for you to breathe? Mustard gas.

What’s green and bad for you to drink? Radioactive waste.

What Happens When You Get Caught On Fire?

— You Lost To Slmebody When You Were Playing Hide And Seek, And The Place Where You Got Caught Was Exactly On A Patch Of Fire.

A friend of mine chews gum, lays back to yawn, then chokes on the gum. Then I said, "God, what, you choking on dick?"

I saw a sign that said, "Falling Rocks." I tried it, and it doesn't.