Hawking jokes
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
How do you execute Stephen Hawking?
The electric wheelchair.
Stephen Hawking had a high I.Q., but still had to learn how to be disabled.
At least he always has a shoulder to cry on.
Who said, "That's a small step for man, a giant leap for mankind?"
Not Stephen Hawking.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite football anthem?
You'll Never Walk Alone.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he rode a bike?
"Hey look...no hands...or legs!"
Stephen Hawking doesn't go for a stroll. He goes for a roll.
I'll tell you a good joke. Stephen Hawking went for a walk.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?
At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.
Wipe your feet before entering, but in Stephen Hawking's case, it is "Wipe your wheels."
If you look up the word "wheelchair" in a dictionary, you will see a picture of Stephen Hawking.
Why is he called Stephen Hawking?
Because he is always trying to hawk up phlegm to clear his throat.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Steven.
Can't you read? It says, "No Hawking."
At least he got D.L.A. (Disability Living Allowance), so it's not all bad. Every cloud has a silver lining...even a mushroom cloud.
Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.
And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.
Knock knock. Who's there? Beep boop S.t.e.p.h.e.n beep boop H.a.w.k.i.n.g.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite line in Rambo?
"Don't push me."
Stephen Hawking was a bit of a hardcase. He didn't let people push him around.
Stephen Hawking is to wheelchairs like Uncle Ben is to rice.