Harry Potter

Harry Potter Jokes

Road

Why did Severus Snape cross the road wearing an invisibility cloak?

So no one would know what side he was on.

Wizard

What did the wizard say when he was filling up the gas tank? "Expensive Petroleum!"

Movie

Emma Watson gets hotter and hotter in the Harry Potter movies when you’re watching in reverse order.

Way

What's Harry Potter's favorite way of going down a hill?

Walking. JK, Rowling.

Movie

Harry Potter is a movie about a grown adult man with an unhealthy obsession with a teenage boy.

Difference

What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?

Harry made it out of the chamber.

Wizard

What do you call a teen wizard who just went through puberty?

Hairy Potter.

Hairline

Your hairline sucks; even Harry Potter could not put it under a spell to turn it back to order.

Girl

Hey girl, do you like Harry Potter?

Because I want to wingardium leviosa up that skirt, alohamora those legs open, and aqua erupto inside of your leaky cauldron.

Girlfriend

So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.

We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.

Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.

Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?

Abortion

People go to places to see Harry Potter live, but you can just go to the abortion place and see something disappear.

Spell

What is a dirty minded Harry Potter fan's favorite spell before the deed? Dickus Embigus!

Golfer

I do not have enough information to complete this request. Can you please provide the joke?