Harry Potter jokes
What role does a leper play in the theater?
Voldemort!
What is the most unrealistic thing about Harry Potter?
A ginger with friends.
Why did Severus Snape cross the road wearing an invisibility cloak?
So no one would know what side he was on.
What do you call a wizard who can't secure a girl? Fumbledore.
What did the wizard say when he was filling up the gas tank? "Expensive Petroleum!"
Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought Voldemort was ugly, then I saw you.
Emma Watson gets hotter and hotter in the Harry Potter movies when you’re watching in reverse order.
What if Game of Thrones and Harry Potter antagonism had a child?
Coldemort!
What’s an orphan’s favorite movie character?
Harry Potter.
What's Harry Potter's favorite way of going down a hill?
Walking. JK, Rowling.
Harry Potter is a movie about a grown adult man with an unhealthy obsession with a teenage boy.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
What do you call a teen wizard who just went through puberty?
Hairy Potter.
Your hairline sucks; even Harry Potter could not put it under a spell to turn it back to order.
Hey girl, do you like Harry Potter?
Because I want to wingardium leviosa up that skirt, alohamora those legs open, and aqua erupto inside of your leaky cauldron.
Draco Malfoy had a wand fight in the bathroom.
Damn, didn't know this site was about Harry Pot-
So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.
We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.
Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.
Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?
People go to places to see Harry Potter live, but you can just go to the abortion place and see something disappear.
What is a dirty minded Harry Potter fan's favorite spell before the deed? Dickus Embigus!