Na don't be mean to fat people oh wait never mind they can handle the weight
Why would doors do well on social media?
Everyone looks for their handles
Daveon is so straight, he can't even handle a slight bend in the road.
Bin Ladenâs kid comes sad from school. âDad I got an F in Geography class!â âWhy is that?â âThe teacher asked me whatâs the tallest building in New York and I said âEmpire State Buildingââ Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, âLet dad handle this one.â
Want to know how to fit 71 people in the car? 2 in the front while we handle 69 in the back.
What do you call a white bucket a Pail
That shit was trash. You cant handle me. Hold up. Aint you nathaniel B??
I have a joke about doors but you can't handle itđ
what do u call a mexican door
dora
Baby: Stroll? Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL! Baby: *happily screams* Stroller: *front wheels break off* Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS Baby: Oka- CRASH
Why cant Juice Wrld play Black Ops II ? Because he cant handle 6 perks
Your forehead is so big that it couldnât handle a acute angle.
As Iâm lying down on the table for a radiation treatment, a small angel lands on one shoulder, a tiny devil on the other shoulder. And then the mind game begins:
Angel: This wonât last long. You are perfectly lined up. The treatment only lasts a few mins. Remember, stay absolutely still.
Devil: Did she just twitch?
A: No. She didnât twitch.
D: I think I saw her finger twitch.
A: Well, even if it did, itâs her thigh the techs are aiming at.
D: She wants to scratch her face.
A: Stop it! She can handle staying still a few minutes.
D: But her cheek has an itchy spot.
A: She can just let it itch. She doesnât need to scratch every itch. She will just have to think about something else.
D: Wow...that cheek is really itchy...
A: Think about: Flowers. Acrylic painting. Did the trash get picked up this morning? Her grandson Oliverâs smile...
D: How about a song?
A: Good idea!
D: How about... âNever going to give you up. Never going to let you down....âđ¶
A: OMG! You just Rick-rolled her! Sheâs in the middle of a treatment! You know thatâs the only part she knows!
D: Thatâs okay. Sheâll just repeat the words she knows over and over and over and....
A: Donât be so mean!
D: âNever going to give you up...đ¶â
A: Stop it!
D: Her toe! Her big toe! Did you see that? She just twitched it!
A: No, she didnât.
D: I bet it screwed up the test and they have to start over....
A: She didnât screw anything up!
D: She totally screwed the test up and they were more than halfway done. If they start over at the beginning, she will get too much radiation, and they will end up slicing her whole leg off!
A: Thatâs not how it works...
D: Or they just stop all together and she only gets a partial treatment and her tumor wonât get enough radiation.
A: They know what they are doing!
D: ...And it wonât shrink the tumor and the whole thing fails. And the doctor will have to amputate her leg.
A: No! No! No! Thatâs not how any of this...
D: ...And when they amputate, it will be at the hip and not below the knee because the tumor is in her thigh.
A: Stop this right now!!
D: âNever going to give you up....đ¶â
A: Stop!
D: â...never going let you down....đ¶â
A: Iâm not going to let you...
D: âNever going to give you up...đ¶â .
Techs: Okay. Thatâs it, Tammi! We are finished! How are you doing?
Tammi: ...Oh, Iâm fine.....
A Chinese moves to the USA after 50 years of living in Shanghai.
He bought a home on a small piece of land.
The friendly American neighbor decides to go across and welcome the new guy.
He goes next door but on his way up the drive-way he sees the Chinese man running around his front yard, chasing about 10 hens.
Not wanting to interrupt these 'Chinese customs', he decides to put the welcome on hold for the day.
Next day he decides to try again, but just as he is about to knock on the front door, he looks through the window and sees him urinate into a glass and then drink it.
Not wanting to interrupt another 'Chinese custom', he decides to put the welcome on hold for yet another day.
A day later he decides to give it one last go, but on his way next door, he sees the neighbour leading a bull down the drive way and then put his left ear next to the bull's butt.
The American dude can't handle this, so he goes up to the Chinese man and says, "Jeez man, what the hell is it with your Chinese customs? I come over to welcome you to the neighborhood and see you running around the yard after hens. The next day you are pissing in a glass and drinking it and then today you have your head so close to that bull's butt, it could just about shit on you."
The Chinese man is very taken back and says, "Sorry sir, you no understand, these no Chinese customs I am doing, these are American Customs."
'What do you mean' says the neighbor, "Those aren't American customs."
"Yes they are, man at travel agent tell me" replied the Chinese man. "He say to become true American, I must learn to chase chicks get piss drunk and listen to bull-shit!"
Why do anions hate each other? Because they can't handle the negativity!
why cant juice wlrd play call of duty zombies
because he cant handle all six perks
-->[] go through the door if you can
Christopher and Tony were tempted for a beer but they only had 2 dollars each. Christopher got an idea and run away to the butcher and see if he got something good. He came back with a sausage. So they went to a pub and ordered 2 beers and 2 whiskeys. - Are you crazy?! Said Tony to Christopher. 'We don't have any money!' - Take it easy now, said Christopher. 'I have a plan.' When they finnished drink everything up christopher put the sausage through his own zipper and begged Tony to bend on his knees and take the sausage with his mouth. The bartender saw what they did and throw them out without even paying. So Christopher and Tony kept doing the same thing pub after pub after pub. After the 10th pub said Tony: I can't do this anymore. I am drunk and my knees are in too much pain to even handle the walk. - How do you think i feel? Said Christopher exhausted. ' I dropped the sausage in the 3th pub!'
If it's true what they say and I quote; "God never gives you more than you can handle"
Then you should pray to those who didn't, that God gave them a body strong enough to survive the attempt.
What do you call a cup with a handle?
A mug! HAHA ha... My parents just got a divorce :(
