Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road?
A: 'Cause someone let go of the handle bars.
Why is there bullying? They can handle it by themselves.
I broke the sink yesterday; the handle just blew right off! My dad was so mad, he blew his stack!
Do you know why you should never let a blonde handle grenades?
They'll end up only throwing the pin.
The shovel was a groundbreaking invention.
Why do people drink Starbucks? Because it's too hot to handle!
What do you call a cute door?
Adoorable.
Once there were these two fruitcakes driving in their Pink Porsche. "Oh, this handles so well!" they exclaimed.
Then this Mack truck came around the corner at their stop sign and rear-ended them. The passenger said to his partner, "You tell that man he's gonna pay every single cent 'cause we're going to sue him!"
So the flamer gets out and swishes to tell the trucker to do that very thing. The trucker was a tough who said, "What do you want, wimp?" The gay said, "You just hit our new Pink Porsche, and we're gonna make you pay every single cent 'cause we're gonna sue you!"
The trucker said, "Oh yeah? Blow me!" The gay driver went "Ohhh!" and ran back. The gay partner asked him, "What did he say?" His fruitcake driver said, "Ohhh! It's wonderful, he wants to settle out of court!"
Q: How do you make a door cry?
A: Twist its knob.
Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."
A man with no arms is tasked with a lot of jobs. Then he says to his boss, "I can't handle all of this!"
I can't handle these puns...
But I can HAND you some puns!
Budum tiss!
When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.
Yo mama so FAT, she can't handle files bigger than 4 GB.
