Good jokes
Do you want to be in Heaven with Jesus, our savior, or be on Earth with bad things?
Q. Why couldn't Terri Schiavo give good blow jobs?
A. She didn't know how to swallow.
"Just ditched a woman. Feelin' good!" -Techno
Why are orphans not that good at baseball?
They can never hit a homerun.
A guy is walking down the street when he almost steps in something. He looks down and says, "Looks like shit."
He crouches down and smells it, "Smells like shit."
He sticks his finger in, tastes it, "Tastes like shit."
He then smiles and says, "Well, good thing I didn't step on it!"
Why are Germans good at smoking?
They had experience with smoking.
My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Charlie.
Charlie who?
Charlie Brown! Good grief!
My teacher told me to have a good day. SOOOOOOOOOO I went home :)
I love you, my new phone! 📲
Why are orphans good at math? Because they can subtract their parents from the family.
They said that new Juice WRLD album was shakin' good....
Where do you bring a canoe that doesn’t feel good?... The boat dock.
Never give up, 'cause never gonna give you up.
Never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you, never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna desert you.
What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!
They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.
Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.
You wonder where my dad is.
Meanwhile, Dad: It's good to be at milk island!
I'm great!! I'm good. I'm doing good hahaha. I mean "well" haha! Haha I'm doing well, not good! Haha I'm not doing good! I'm not doing so good.
Little Johnny: Dad, why are you rubbing the horse's chest and butt?
Dad: I want to see if it's good enough to buy.
Little Johnny: I think Uncle Joe wants to buy Mom.
Emo kids are so good at kicking football. I hear they have good hang time.
A woman asked Stephen Hawking to dance, and he replied, "I'm not much good, I have two left feet."
"Then how about Karaoke?"
To which he replied, "I have two left throats."