New Good Will Jokes - Page 27

What is a cow that's good at math good for?

Meat pie.

Abraham Lincoln was a good man, he jumped out the window with his dick in his hand and walked up to a group of ladies and said I'm doing my duty so why don't you give me some booty?

I just want to say good morning to Gwen and everyone on this site. Have a nice day.

What if it's okay if someone can see my blue jokes, hello, bully, love, crazy, and Ariana jokes? Thanks!

Good (DYM 92).

Q: What is the difference between a tire and 365 condoms?

A: One is a good year, one is a great year.

Kenny can't find a girlfriend because neither of his sisters can fuck as good as his mom could.

Guys, say "A wrecked isle dysfunction" really loud and you will get good luck for 10 years.

Guys, say "I love gape horn" really loud and you will get good luck for 10 years.

So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"

Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia.

The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly.

After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and asks the receptionist to bring tea to their room in five minutes.

The man walks back into the room, joins the table, leans towards a power outlet and speaks into it:

"Comrade major, we want some tea to room 62 please."

His friends laugh at the joke, until there is a knock on the door. The receptionist brings a teapot. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep.

After a good night's rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are gone. Surprised, he walks downstairs and asks the receptionist where they went.

The nervous receptionist whispers that KGB came and took them before dawn.

The man is horrified. He wonders why he was spared.

The receptionist responds:

"Well, comrade major did quite like your tea joke."

Good Morning! Have a Great Day!

#Ijustwokeup

Quote for the day.

I looked this quote up, but it really is a good thing, just for starters.

"Sometimes you will never know the VALUE of a moment until it becomes a MEMORY."

Also, loving is so much more to give instead! Always remember to love!!! Best-Gwen :)

Women are only for sex!

They are good for cooking and sex!

Nothing but those things.

I looked this quote up, but it really is a good thing, just for starters.

"Sometimes you will never know the VALUE of a moment until it becomes a MEMORY."

My dad died in 9/11.

He was a good pilot.

Straights are ALWAYS asking LGBTQ+ people why they have such GOOD FASHION SENSE. We didn't spend all that time in the closet for nothing, honey ;)

Billy and Bobby were walking to school one day. Billy pulled out an mp3 player.

"What's that?" Bobby inquired.

"Oh, just something to zone out the other kids," Billy responded.

The next day, Billy and Bobby were walking to school. Billy rummaged through his backpack and pulled out an mp4 player this time.

"Woah! What's that?" Bobby inquired.

"Oh, just a lil something to shut out the annoying kids at school," Billy responded.

The next day, Bobby noticed Billy's backpack was particularly heavy looking. Billy rummaged through his backpack just outside the school and pulled out an mp5 rifle.

"Holy shit, dude! What the fuck is that for?" Bobby gasped.

"Nice huh? This'll shut those fuckers up for good!" Billy replied.