Get jokes

So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.

If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.

Get pranked, bozo!

I tried getting an abortion, but they said, "Sir, this is a pizzeria."

Are you a train because I want to get railed by you? ;)

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apples get picked! 🤪

I wish I was at a Western bar; then I would get shot.

Guys, we gotta stop telling these jokes. They are getting out of h- oh wait no .... Continue.

Yo daddy so stupid, he threw a Father’s Day party at the orphanage.

What did the Catholic priest say to the other Catholic priest as they entered the orphanage? Let’s us prey.

What do you get when you put 2 nuns and a blond on a football field? 2 tight ends and a wide receiver.

Why did he go to the chiropractors?

To get his spine fixed.

You're so fat, when someone calls you fat, you get depressed and cut you a slice of cake.

Why’d the chicken cross the road?

To get choked and stroked by Mr. Big Bloke!

“We’ll choke and stroke, it ain’t no joke!”

How do you get into Hogwarts? Through the Dumble Door.

Did you hear about the dwarf that had his wallet stolen? Just how low can you get?

A 17 year old pregnant Juanita flew all the way to NY from TX to get an abortion. Initially, she was denied the procedure because she wasn't COVID boosted, but after she explained the father was religious and wanted to be involved, they quickly resolved the threat.

Little Johnny was told by his friend that if you go to your parents and say: "I know the truth," they give you money.

So Little Johnny says to his mum, "I know the truth," so his mum hands him 20 dollars and tells him not to tell anyone. So when Little Johnny’s dad gets home, Little Johnny says, "I know the truth." His dad hands him $50 and says not to tell anyone. So Little Johnny tries it on the postman and says, "I know the truth," and the postman says, "Come here, son."

Little Johnny walked into an ice cream shop and asked: "Do you have chocolate filled ice cream?"

The man replies: "We are out of that, sorry, we are almost out of every single flavor, do you want me to get you a vanilla filled one?"

Johnny replies: "Sure."

After that, the man asks for Johnny's phone and goes to back of the store. 5 minutes later, the man comes with an ice cream and Johnny's phone.

Johnny asks: "How much for the ice cream?"

The man replies: "Nothing, it's on the house."

After Johnny ate his delicious ice cream, he searched for his watch history. And then Johnny realized the flavor of the ice cream.

Your mom is so fat, when she asked, "What gift will I get?" Abuela from Encanto said, "Definitely Taco Bell!" 🌮🔔

Why did the man get fired from work? Because he took two days off in February.

Don't joke about Juice WRLD; he died a hard life, so get f***ed.

If you see a woman get raped, just walk away. Don't bother helping. They're independent women, after all.