Get away

Get Away Jokes

Rape

How do you get away with rape and incest in California?

Say you identify as a woman. Fact: It's actually legal to rape your daughter if you are a woman in California.

Rape

How do you get away with rape? Identify as transgender. Women can never be accused of rape, obviously

Orphan

Orphans can get away with anything really bad at school, because they can't be sent home for it.

Class

I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes

A yellow minion with one eye and blue overalls stands on the left. To the right, there is a text that begins: "What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals..." and continues with a long, aggressive monologue.

Wheelchair

Today, a kid in a wheelchair was rolling around the class to get away from this one annoying kid, so I told him, "Brayden, just get up and walk away."

Orphan

Why can orphans get away from the FBI?

Because they don't have a house.

Bill Cosby

Q: Why did Bill Cosby get away with it?

A: Because the women were all Cosby-ing for it!

Pedophile

You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?

Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.

Orphan

Why can you punch an orphan and get away with it?

Because what is he gonna do, tell his parents?

Yo mama

Yo mama is so ugly her hairline is receding just to get away from her face.

Orphan

Why can orphans get away with robbing the bank?

Because no one wants him.

Alphabet

The teacher asked a young boy in primary school, "Can you tell me the alphabet?"

To which the boy replies, "No."

The teacher then sets his homework to learn the alphabet.

At home, the boy goes up to his mum, who is on the phone, and asks, "Can you tell me the alphabet?"

"Shut up," she replied.

The boy goes to his dad, who just won the footie match, and asks, "Can you teach me the alphabet?"

But the dad is too busy celebrating and shouting, "Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!"

The boy goes to his big brother and asks him to teach him the alphabet.

But his brother is singing, "I'm Michael Jackson, I'm Michael Jackson!"

The boy goes to his sister and asks her for the alphabet.

But his sister is singing, "In my big red car, in my big red car!"

The next day the teacher asks him the alphabet.

The boy replies, "Shut up."

"Alright, I'm sending you to the principal's office right now."

The boy replies, "Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!"

In the office, the principal says, "Who do you think you are?"

The boy replies, "I'm Michael Jackson, I'm Michael Jackson!"

The principal now says, "How do you think you'll get away with this?"

The boy then replies, "In my big red car, in my big red car!"

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