I was sitting on my own in a restaurant, when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”
Roses are red violets are blue. I have five fingers two of them are for you.
What do Hitler and trump have in common they both do hand gestures.
A women decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday She spends $15,000 and looks sensational. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, ‘I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?”.
’About 32,’ is the reply.’
‘Nope! I’m exactly 50,’ the woman says happily.<br> A little while later she goes into McDonald’s and asks the counter girl the very same question.
The girl replies, ‘I’d guess about 29.’ The woman replies with a big smile, ‘Nope, I’m 50.’
Now she’s feeling really good about herself. She stops at a candy shop on her way down the street.
She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the assistant the same burning question.
The clerk responds, ‘Oh, I’d say 30.’
Again she proudly responds, ‘I’m 50, but thank you!’
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replies, ‘Lady, I’m 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra Then, and only then I can tell you EXACTLY how old you are.’
They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the better of her. She finally blurts out, ‘What the hell, go ahead.’
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, ‘Okay, okay.....How old am I?’
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, ‘Madam, you are 50.’
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, ‘That was incredible, how could you tell?’
‘I was behind you at McDonalds’.
1 time i went to high five some one ive been left hanging ever since
if hitler was in a car doing his salute he would be saying take the 3rd right
hellen threw up gang signs her whole life and didnt know
I tried to high five a tree it left me hanging
My sister is the weired dark one and emo of the family im the bright happy one once in 3rd grade i got a huge A on mine and my sis got a D- In the playground Near a tree we were siting and playing i said "hey a C- is not that bad and raised my hand up to give her a high five but she left me hanging
why is it bad to high five an emo.. they will leave themselves hanging
i was walking and i saw a girl crying and she told me to take her doll house and i asked why?she said because i dont have one
why did the emo kid try high five the tree
so it can hang him
What is the biggest dissrespect to send a box of tea bags to africa
My girlfriend asked me to write her a poem for Valentines Day: Roses are red, Watches are gold. Get on your knees, And do as you're told.
I tell a man get me a glock 19 he comes back with a glove i was about to shout at him but then i saw a pistol in his pocket so i left and thanked him
roses are red, violets are blue, i have five fingers, and the middle one is for u.
A joker held the door open for me the other day. It was a nice gesture
When your friend does a finger-gun and his dad appears behind him and does it too, with the real deal
Why Couldn't the Japanese man give a high five?
Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
Jesus created the t-pose first
