Funny jokes
A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs.
He asks her why she is crying, and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her, then jogs away.
The next day, he finds her crying again, and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.
On the third day, the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up and throws her in the pond, telling her, "You're fucked now!"
I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair.
I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling.
When you're born on 4/20/69...
It's horrible to make jokes about 9/11, but it's not funny when I found out my mate's mum jumped from the 21st floor.
I’m not funny! Please do not laugh at my jokes! But do check them out, they’re very unpredictable. Read them, do not laugh, they’re jokes, do not laugh at them!
Someone: hah- Me: NO DON’T YOU DARE!😠😠
Me: Wanna play a game?
Sister: Ya, what is it?
Me: Tic tac toe.
Sister:?
Takes out knife and rolls up sleeve.
Me: Tic tac toe.
What's the autistic kid's favorite song? Yours.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he died.
I don't know why we have to make jokes about this, it's already a joke.
What's the same with shoes and slaves?
When they get loose, you tie them up.
My dick was in the book of world records.
But then the librarian asked me to take it out.
Q: Do you know why transgender people are good at being carpenters?
A: Because they have more experience cutting off their wood.
I don't have a joke, it's just funny reading them.
POV: I made a blind joke.
"That isn't funny. What if Helen Keller saw that?"
When your mama went to Sea World, the whales started singing, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"
How did the cookie 🍪 feel when he was dunked in milk?
Batter.
There’s nothing funny about orphans, right?
Well, I guess that depends on your sense of humor.
My Italian chef friend died last week. He pasta away.
I'm autistic, and I find these so funny.
What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.