Funny jokes
I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair.
I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling.
When you're born on 4/20/69...
It's horrible to make jokes about 9/11, but it's not funny when I found out my mate's mum jumped from the 21st floor.
I’m not funny! Please do not laugh at my jokes! But do check them out, they’re very unpredictable. Read them, do not laugh, they’re jokes, do not laugh at them!
Someone: hah- Me: NO DON’T YOU DARE!😠😠
Me: Wanna play a game?
Sister: Ya, what is it?
Me: Tic tac toe.
Sister:?
Takes out knife and rolls up sleeve.
Me: Tic tac toe.
What's the autistic kid's favorite song? Yours.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he died.
I don't know why we have to make jokes about this, it's already a joke.
My dick was in the book of world records.
But then the librarian asked me to take it out.
Q: Do you know why transgender people are good at being carpenters?
A: Because they have more experience cutting off their wood.
I don't have a joke, it's just funny reading them.
POV: I made a blind joke.
"That isn't funny. What if Helen Keller saw that?"
When your mama went to Sea World, the whales started singing, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"
How did the cookie 🍪 feel when he was dunked in milk?
Batter.
There’s nothing funny about orphans, right?
Well, I guess that depends on your sense of humor.
What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?
With a cop car, all the pricks are on the inside.
My Italian chef friend died last week. He pasta away.
I'm autistic, and I find these so funny.
What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
Do you want to know my motto when I’m bored?
Punch an orphan, who is he going to tell, his mom?