Ran out of toilet paper so had to start using lettuce leaves...today was the tip of the iceberg
DON’T READ THIS IF YOU HAVE NOT PLAYED SETTLERS OF CATAN! “Wheat is going on?” I asked my godmother. She replied “Godson, I really don’t know but could you please get me some m-ore Shloer.” “Ok, I’ll sheep if there’s any in the fridge!”
Sally has no arms. She fell off the swing. Why? someone threw a fridge at her. AAHAHAAAHHAHAH
Why did ranch tell fridge to close the door-------------------------he was dressing
So a mom and a dad take their son to a therapist. “What seems to be the problem?” The therapist asked. “Our son thinks he’s a refrigerator!” They said. So the therapist replies, “oh dear, that must be a problem.” “Yeah, he sleeps with his mouth open and the light is really bright.”
I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink.
Turns out it was the fridge.
Taken from www.keeplaughingforever.com
“One silent evening, a man walks to his fridge to get some food. He sets out a fork and napkin on the table. He reaches to grab a salad topped with olives and cheese. He sets the food down on the table and begins to add tomatoes, condiments, and...“ He is interrupted. “Why are you saying this aloud?” A young boy asks his father. The father replies with, “You wanted to know how to live on your own. But I guess experience is more helpful,” he says as he rushes the child out of the front door.
What is black and white and sits in a tree? A fridge wearing a leather jacket XD
Why do brides wear white?
So the match the kitchen appliances
We have some leak in the fridge, I'm surprised nobody has called a plumber.
How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday. I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
I named my refridgerator Oicurmt, because every time I look in, I say O I C, U R MT.
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well, it was more of a wrap.
I like my women how I like my fridge.
In the kitchen.
Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?
Teacher: 502.
Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?
Teacher:No you can't fit an elephant in a fridge!!
Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.
Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: open door,put giraffe in, close door
Student: no! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.
Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one? Teacher: let me guess the lion?
Student: No!The giraffe because He's in a fridge.
Teacher: WOW!
Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?
Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?
Student:The gators are at the party.
Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?
Teacher:She drowned?!
Student: no! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
There was a dude. He had a mondo dong. His wife was like, yo, where are your balls? The dude says he left them in the fridge. His wife replies "i knew those meatballs tasted weird!"
dang it got ketchup on my sleeve what do I do o spread the LOVE
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay moving on you took to long, how many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge (*Their reply* Idk how many) 3, Open the fridge put the elephant into the fridge and close the door. how do you put a giraffe into the fridge (*Their reply* 3...) Wrong 4, Open the fridge take out the elephant put in the giraffe and close the door, why did sully fall off the swing, A fridge fell on her
Why did Jerry fall off the moon?
Because he got hit by a fridge.
