Do you know a way to really freak out someone that works at a car dealership?

You say “Tell me if you can hear me”, then get in the trunk and start screaming.



So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, I hope that wan’t to much to (Handel), (Dont) let it (Strauss) you out. For all of my musicians out there!



My aunt’s star sign is cancer, so it’s pretty ironic how she died. She was eaten alive by a giant freaking crab



“Mom? Don’t freak out, but I’m in the hospital.”

“Aaron, you’ve been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that.”

Knock knock

Bad cop

Knock knock who’s there control freak con… ok now you say control freak who



So you know how sheets are always so tight at hotels?

Well i looked under the bed and there is a freaking room cleaner holding the sheets. all he says is “don’t ask or you shall die”


Mr. Dark Joke

a Woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.



My son asked me “ what is angel cake made of?” I reply by listing the ingredients in mr Kipling angel cakes, Then he shouts “STOP” I stop as I reach food colourings he slowly crawls towards me and says in a whisper “well in my angel cake I put angels in them” I freaked out about this so I calmed down and asked who did you put in this angel cake he said”grandma the one who died last Saturday”

Knock knock

Bad cop

Knock knock. who’s there control freak Con… Ok now you say control freak who



The world is a freaking rape joke



Person 1 - How the freak did you get in my house!?!?! I locked the door!!!

Person 2 - But I’m your mom… I have a key. You dumbass