So a man walks into the bar. The bartender looks to him and says, "You look like your having a rough day, tell me about it?"
The man then stood up and became mario
What do you call a foot that got beaten at everything?
De-feeted (Defeated)
What do you say to a foot that got beaten at everything?
De-feeted (Defeated)
A no legged manager runs the nearest pizza place called Your Pizza Is A Joke.
I (J0K35) worked there and this happened...
Manager: WHY ARE THE PINEAPPLES IN THE TRASH?!
Me: Because nobody eats fucking pineapple pizza
Manager: THATS IT! IM KICKING YOU OUT OF THIS PLACE
Me: You can't kick me out
Manager: Why not? Huh?
Me: Because you need legs to kick, and you don't have any.
If an athlete gets athletes foot... What does an astronaut get? Mistletoe!
Have you ever stepped foot in Stephen Hawkins house? cause hasn’t either.
I think there will be many more jokes afoot! 👣
If you put your foot in a pond, your foot will get wet. No joke, I just wasted about 5 or 6 seconds of your life.
My wife said I acted like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.
Three women- a blonde, a brunette and a redhead- are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two two hours later their vehicle dies with no gas and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them. The brunette brings canteens of water. The redhead takes a large beach umbrella. The Blonde somehow rips off the car door. The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?" To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."
How do you make a baby float?
You take your foot off it’s head
When I trying to eat, but I hurt my feet. When I using a hoe, but I hurt my toe. When I going to a doctor, but then I get trolled. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I using a copper, but I enveloped by a hopper. When I trying to draw someone, but it ended up with a punishment. When I spit on a bunny, it jumps right on me. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I growing older, someone called me a slacker. When I was 33, I bumped into a tree. When I getting angry, people calls me crazy lady. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
What’s better than swinging a dead baby in circles over your head with a 5 foot rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.
Why did the leper fail his driving test? He left his foot on the clutch
Did you hear about the four foot tall psychic who escaped prison? He's a small medium at large.
Does your shoe have a hole in it
No
Then how did you put your foot in it
A guy walks into a bar and sees a 1 foot piano player over by the door. He goes over to the bartender, orders a beer, and says “man, how’d you get such a short piano player.” The bartender says in response” there’s a genie in the back of the bar.” The man finishes his beer and runs to the back, looking for the genie. He finds it and says “I wish for a million bucks.” Suddenly, a million ducks fly out of the bar. The customer looks confused and goes back to the bartender and says “what just happened” the bartender replies “the genie is half deaf, do you really think I’d ask for a 12 inch pianist?”
So about a year ago I was riding a horse and out of no where the horse tried to flip me off it and I fell off I would have been OK but my foot got stuck in the stirrup the horse dragged me along and didn't stop. I would have died if it weren't for the Walmart manger who came out and unplugged the horse.
How do you stop a baby from drowning, Take your foot off it's head.
yo mamas so hot when she walked into subway she gave me a foot long
