Flip jokes
What's the difference between a yandere and a gun?
Nothing.
Flip them off the wrong way and you're dead.
That one teacher that flips on and off the light switch to get the students' attention... that one kid with epilepsy...
Why did the chef flip a pancake? Because he was a tosser.
59009 flip it backwards on your calculator... it = boobs!
What do you call a person with a flip flop?
My dad.
So, about a year ago I was riding a horse, and out of nowhere the horse tried to flip me off it and I fell off. I would have been OK, but my foot got stuck in the stirrup. The horse dragged me along and didn't stop.
I would have died if it weren't for the Walmart manager who came out and unplugged the horse.
Mom: I'm going to the shop. If someone is at the door, don't open it.
Me: Ok.
*Ring*
Me: Opens the door.
Oh sh*t!
Mom: Gets flip flop.
The other day, my best friend flipped off the table in class. I thought it was flipping amazing!
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef!
I'mma flip this coin, if it lands on heads, tuh, you gotta give me head, if it lands on tails then you gotta give me the booty, so lets give this a try *flips coin* OOP! Would ya look at that, it landed on both, ESSKETIT!
There was one girl. She met 5000 guys. She had sex with each of them seven times. She became... - flip screen (=).
You walk into an old, run-down house and you see that a light is on. You walk over to the light and you see blood all over the room, and you run to the exit to leave, but when you get to the door, somehow it is locked from the outside and you have no choice but to go into the house more. You see another room with a light on, so you go in. When you go in, "flip," all the lights go off, then you see a bright light and then a screen shows up and it says, "Let the game show begin." You see other people next to you and they seem scared, then a wall comes down, you see optical cords and you go on, and then a chainsaw comes at you and it misses you, but the other kid behind you gets hit and dies.
Part two coming soon. This is inspired by the SCP Foundation. Have a nice summer.
How do you fit three gay guys on a bar stool?
Flip it upside down.
A fine is a tax for doing something wrong. A tax is a fine for doing something good.
There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.
Three gay guys walk into a bar.
There is only one stool left, what do they do?
They flip the stool over.
So, my mom has hit me with a flip flop when I was bad, and when I cheated on my girl, right when the other girl came in, a flip flop came flying in the room.
Q: What did the fetus say to the tongs?
A: See you on the flip side.
I got in trouble at school today because I played the knife game with a pair of scissors, but I couldn't flip them off because I was missing that finger.
What's green and is dangerous?
Kermit with a flip knife.
My dad: You better wear flip-flops everywhere.
Suicidal son: Goes to crack alley.