2 men ran into a bar, you would have thought after the first one hit it the second one would have seen it
My uncle got sued from NASA the other day. He claimed to be the first one to enter youranis
why did the monkey fall out of the tree he was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree he was also dead why did the third monkey fall out of the tree monkey see monkey do why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree he was stapled to the first one
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, "You guys should know your limits."
two husbands walk into a bar the first one says my wife is an angel the second one says your lucky mine is still alive
What do you call pasta that’s made by a skeleton a CREEPYpasta (it’s my first one lol)
dont you just hate when your the first one sleep at the sleepover and then you hear ''Prank em John"
A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to. He says to the first one "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny" He says to the second one "You are addicted to food, you named you daughter Candy" Then the third one whispers to her son "Come on Dick, lets go."
why did i give an orphan the iphone X? because it is the first one without a home button.
2 scientists walk into a bar, the first one says "can I have a drink of H2O?" then the second says"can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies
There were three boys on the top of a slide. The first one went down yelling “gold!” and landed in a pot of gold. The second boy went down and shouted “pillows!” and landed in a heap of pillows. The final boy went down and shouted “weeeeeeeee!”
There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said "i farted and the building behind me blew up".
Three nuns had to go before mother Superior. The first one goes up to her and she says have you sinned? Yes I have mother I have stolen a bicycle. Okay said mother Superior okay said mother Superior say 100 holy Marys and put dip your hand in the holy water... Up comes nun number two and she says she has sinned she slept with a married man.. so mother Superior says okay save 500 hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water and go on your way the third nun comes up and she says I peed in the holy water 🤣😂🤣😂😁😁🌈
3 vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks “a Bloody Mary?”
The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me”
“Hot water?”
“I found a tampon out back and want to make tea”
You know what they say about 911 jokes
The second one never lands as good as the first one
2 magicians were in a competition the first one did magic and the second started counting down 3 2 but before he said the last number he 1
I have a brother and he told me this quote no wonder they had a second child they messed up on the first one“ he’s the second child... I’m the first...
Why did the skydiver bring a backup parachute?
In case the first one wanted to "cut ties" with them mid-air.
When hitler killed himself he shot himself twice, the first one was operation Barbarossa and the second one was his death
Why was the rapper always the first one at the party?
Because he never missed a BEAT
