Figurative language jokes

What do you call a psychic midget in trouble with the law?

A small medium at large.

A pirate walked into a bar with his ship's steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, "Hey! What's with the steering wheel?" The pirate says, "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!"

“If you're a dwarf and you're offended by that, grow up.”

Why does Santa come down the chimney? Because he knows he isn't allowed to come in the back door.

I’ve seen more life in a trampled garden gnome than in BLESSEDBRIAN’S jokes.