How did Jesus kill himself?
He fell from his bike
How many times did he die?
Once on a bike and once when he fell from a cloud in heaven
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed.
One fell of and bumped his head
The momma called the doctor and the doctor said
Why the heck was my children jumping on a bed.
There were 5 cows on a farm, one mom and 4 calves. The first calf goes up to the mom and says, "Momma, why is my name Rose?" The mother cow replies, "Well sweetie, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head". The second calf walks up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?", to which the mom replies "Well honey, when you were born, a single lily petal fell on your head". The third calf walks up, but before it can get a word out, the fourth calf screams at the top of its lungs. The mother cow yells, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"
The person next to me on my flight was shocked when they found out I was Arabian. I lagged so hard my gerbade almost fell out of my pocket.
The first child, Daisy, asks her mother why she is named Daisy. The mother said "That's because a daisy fell on your head when you were born". The second child, Raindrop, asked why he is named Raindrop, and the mother said "That's because a drop of rain fell on your head when you were born" Then the third child, Cinderblock, said "fxg,kxf dsdsvtg,hjer,btjh,rbtsvikvsdtxde43f"
My pee pee fell off
Poop fell of the earth
Five little monkeys jumping on a bed, one fell off and bumped his head. Mummy called the doctor and the doctor said "I'm gay!"
Prankster is Backster...DANG IT: Hey guys, prank for today is when I lied about feeling sick so I won't have to go to school. Introduction: This prank was commentited a week ago! Around 5:00 a.m. in the morning! 1. I got out some eggs, milk, salt, and a little bit of mashed olives...will those are main ingreidents. 2. I mixed it all up for about 2 mins just make it look really like barf...no going to school today! 3. I put it under the sofa just give it some solid scence to it. 4. I fix my breakfast eggs and becon. Then when my mom comes down I...PULL OUT MY FAKE BARF!!!!! News flash make a fake excuse for her to leave! My excuse is "I need some thing its in my room I don't want to get cause it would wast time" She fell for it. Then I pull out my FAKE barf which looks like real barf. Then you say or I said "Mom I don't feel so good''! News flash: Don't over sell it think about all that boring school work! and guess what she fell for it so I spend all day doing nothing...aboulty nothing! Will thats the prankster anymore pranks you want ask me in the comment section! Byeeeeeeeeeee
So about a year ago I was riding a horse and out of no where the horse tried to flip me off it and I fell off I would have been OK but my foot got stuck in the stirrup the horse dragged me along and didn't stop. I would have died if it weren't for the Walmart manger who came out and unplugged the horse.
President Joe Biden was jogging though some different jogging paths around this great county we live in and was jogging though Alabama and fell off into a swamp filled with killer alligators and these 3 boys named Willie, Roman and Little Johnny saw him fall in and jumped in and drug him to safety, and the president was like thank you, thank you, thank you SOOO much, I'm gunna give you boys a reward for saving my life, and asks them what their names were and what they wanted, the first boy said my name's Willy and i want to go to Disneyland and the president said no problem and I'll take you personally and the 2nd boy said my name's Roman and i want a Autographed pair or Air Jorden Nikes and the president said no troubles at all, and the 3rd boy says my name's Little Johnny, and i want a power wheelchair with a awesome stero and killer wheels, and the present says, you don't look Handicapped Little Johnny and Little Johnny said, I'm not, but as soon as I tell my parents who i saved, i will be🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Q: What did Tim say when his girlfriend fell down a rabbit hole? A: Hole-y shit!
There are three people on the steps of Heaven. God tells them all he is having a good day and if they make him laugh by telling him how they died he will let them in. The first one said I just finished a long day of work and I get home and right as I stepped in I knew my wife was cheating on me. I searched everywhere and I couldn’t find anybody so I got a drink and went to the balcony and then I saw him, hanging off the ledge of the balcony. I kicked his hands but he wouldn’t fall so I threw a Refrigerator at him and I fell with the Refrigerator. God busted out laughing and let him in. The next person walked up and God told him the same thing he told the other person. God told him that he didn’t think that he could make him laugh more than the first person. The second guy said, so get this I’m a window washer on the 8th floor I’m washing the windows like normal and this enraged psychopath walks up and starts kicking my hands and then he throws a refrigerator at me and I die. God bursts out laughing so much to where he falls off his chair and he lets the guy through. The next guy comes up and God tells him the same thing he told the last two people and he tells him that there is no way that he can make him laugh more than the other two did. So he starts talking. So get this I’m in a refrigerator...
There lived a jackal in a forest he did not get the day's food so he was very hungry and wandered throughout the forest but could not find any food finally he dicided to go to the city as he was walking into the city as soon as he was walking he heard some dogs bark soon he found a group of dogs running towards him so he rushed into a nearby house which belonged to a Dyer and fell into a tub filled with blue dye the dogs that were chasing him returned back as they could not find him the jackal came out blue from the tub and went into the forest every animal In the forest were frightened to see a new animal the jackal realised that all animals were afraid of him and took advantage of the situation he called the animal towards him the jackal said oh my dear friends I have been sent by gods in heaven to protect you all I will be the king of this jungle all the animals became very happy everyday they served him food and took care of all his needs they came to him with all their problems and listened to what there king said one day as the king jackal was sitting by the court he heard a pack of jackals howling in the forest for a long time he had not heard these voices he felt very happy forgetting he was the king he howled back immediately all the animals knew who he really was and started chasing him in anger but the jackal he was already on the run