Father jokes

Mummy, how was I born?

Mummy replied, "Well, your father and I got married, and soon I became fat and you came out, and then in, out, in, out, and after you did that a million times, you were born."

What do altar boys and strippers have in common? Father issues.

Knock knock, who's there? God.

God who? NO, you idiot, there is no God. I am your father and you have locked me out of my own house!

Your manna so fat your father will be coming around the mountain when he cums.

A father came to his daughter's 18th birthday. He finally came.

Technically speaking, "ur mom/ur father" jokes have no effect on orphans.

Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.

That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.

My dad in 9/11; he was the best pilot.

Your children grew up faster than it took you to leave for the milk.

I dressed up as Darth Vader at an orphanage and said, "I am your father!"

Father: I'm taking your toys to the orphanage.

Child: But why?

Doctor: I'm going to have to turn you away.

Orphan: But why?

I think my dad's gay because he goes out with his mates to get milk but never returns.

It was raining sadly all day. My wife, my two daughters, and me were stuck in the house when wife’s mom and dad just died.

Wife: 😭😭😭I wish this never happened.

Mia, our first daughter: Mommy, it’s ok. I love whenever I see you🥰🥰

Abby, our second daughter: I love you all. Only if you guys die I won’t, but I love you when you're alive 😉😏

Me, husband: What kind of nonsense was that? You love us when we’re alive, but you don’t love us when we’re dead🤥😥😓

Everyone except Abby: Abby, this is serious. Mommy’s mother and father died. Mia says: Yes, your mom is sadly down right now, you made her more sad😡🤬. Dad says: *sniffs* Abby, I had made a discussion. I will take you to an orphanage. I am sorry 😣 when I am better and happy and I forgot what you said then we’ll get you back. Mom says:

This was not a joke. I just did this for Love 💕

My Dad: Son, history always repeats itself.

Me: So you're gonna leave me again?

The way ladies cheat nowadays is very alarming.

She might give birth to twins, but each twin having a different father. 😭

Mom: Can I tell you a joke?

Kid: Sure.

Mom: Knock knock.

Kid: Who's there?

Mom: Not yo.

Kid: Not yo who?

Mom: Not yo father.

Kid: Not yo husband either.

My father, who flew the plane, couldn't have a funeral, he went everywhere.

I was going to tell my dad a joke, but he still hasn't come back with the milk yet.

My great-great-great grandpa killed Hitler.

Why did the orphan go to church?

Because they need a father.