I think my dads gay bc he goes out with his mates to get milk but never returns
It was raining sadly all day my wife my 2 daughters and me stuck in the house when wife’s mom and dad just died
Wife:😭😭😭I wish this never happened
Mia our first daughter: momy it’s ok I love whenever I see you🥰🥰
Abby our second daughter: I love u all only if you guys die I won’t but I love you when ur alive 😉😏
Me husband: what kind of nonsense was that you love us when we’re alive but you don’t love us when we’re dead🤥😥😓
Everyone except abby: abby this is serious mommy’s mother and father died. says Mia: yes your mom is sadly down right now you made her more sad😡🤬.says dad:sniffs* abby I had made a discussion I will take to an orphanage I am sorry 😣 when I amd better and happy and I forgot what you said then we’ll get you back.says mom:
This was not a joke I just did this for Love 💕
My Dad: Son, history always repeats itself.
Me: So you're gonna leave me again?
The way ladies cheat nowadays is very alarming. She might give birth to twins, but each twin having a different father. 😭
Mom: can I tell you a joke Kid: sure Mom: Knock Knock Kid: Who there Mom: Not yo Kid: Not Yo Who Mom: Not Yo Father Kid: Not Yo Husband Either
My father who flew the plane couldn't have a funeral,he went everywhere
I was going to tell my dad a joke but he still hasn't come back with the milk yet
My Great Great Great grandpa killed hitler
why did the orphan go to church? because they need a father
Little Johnny’s father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. He says, “Son, every time you do that you kill an innocent baby.” The next day his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again. Johnny says, “Bow your head, Dad. Can’t you see we’re having a funeral?”
While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, “No honey for you for one month!” Later that afternoon, Johnny’s dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. “That’s it! No butter for you for one month!” says his dad. Later that evening as Johnny’s mother cooks dinner, a cockroach runs across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, “Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?”
The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear. “I never want you to use language like that again. Where on earth did you pick it up?” “From my father.” said Johnny. “Well, he should be ashamed of himself. And it’s no reason for you to talk like that. You don’t even know what it means.” “I do.” said Johnny. “It means the car won’t start.”
A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. “I don’t want to know!” Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears. Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. “Oh Pop,” Johnny sobbed, “For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you’re telling me now that grownups don’t really have ***, I’ve got nothing left to live for!”
Did you know an orphan is deeply religious. Because they can finally call someone father.
orphans have 263 days on a calendar because they dont have mothers or fathers day.
Boy 1: Sonic is a fictional character. Boy 2: Yeah, just like your dad.
What were the balloon's last words to his Father? Watch me, Pop!
(there was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato and a baby tomato)
Baby: wait for me!
(father tomato walks back towards the baby)
(he squishes the child)
Father: Ketchup
A man went hunting with his son and shot an animal. The father asks the son to identify the animal he just shot and the son answers: "Holy Cow!!!" Father: "What do you mean Holy Cow?" Son: "You shot a hole in the cow of course!!!"
Why did the child die? To see god our father
