Stevie Wonder is a terrible father
He never sees his kids
My Dad was mowing the grass today, I looked out the window and saw him slumped over the lawnmower. Apparently, he was just going through a rough patch.
Dad. Son who do you want to marry when you grow up? Son. A ugly girl. Dad. Why not a pretty girl? Son. A pretty one might run away. Dad. So and ugly one might to. Son. Yeah but who cares.
Hey mom I'm back from the circus parade, it was amazing! first came the elephants, then came the tigers in the cage, And then came a beautiful lady on a white stallion, oh and what came after her? Asked the mother, Dad and every sailor in the state of Tennessee said the boy.
Dad: You’re looking pretty sheepish Son: That’s too baaaaaad
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says “hey dad! Whatcha doin?” His father says “I’m filling your moms tank” Johnny says, “oh yeah well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because th milk man filled her up this morning.”
u and me went up the to stab your father he was out do not pout the are coming after
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy)
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle)
Q: David's father had three
What's the most confusing day of the year for an illegitimate kid? Father's Day
One day a father went out for some cold beer and threw the 18 pack in the back seat on top of the infant in the car seat. Fortunately it was light beer.
There are 2 dads and 2 sons they all caught a fish, Why did they only come home with 3 fish? (Answer) There were a grand-dad- dad- and son. If you don't get then it means grand father is the dad to the dad(1 dad) dad is the dad for the son and a son for the grandfather, Get it?
So on one partly cloudy night, there was a boy and his dad gazing up at the sky. Dad: aren't the stars just wonderful? I'm not sure, from my angle all I see is clouds. Dad: Well come over hear and take a look. Boy: Damm, the clouds always move when I get to the right spot!!! Dad: Well then I guess I will have too make you see them everywhere you look then.
Then the Dad shook and spun the boy around till he said... NOW I'M SEEING STARS!!!
little johnny father seas if them boys say anther bad word i'm going to whoop them and little johnny brother sey's i'll like sum fuking food and he whoop him and little johnny sey's he wood i'll like sum food at lest i didnt i'll like sum fuking food by.
Why do orphan like going to church. Bc that actually get to say father for once
So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”
My Dad went for some *MILK* , HE NEVER CAME BACK :)
A young boy was talking to his friend about his family: " My great-grandfather fought against Napoleon, my grandfather fought against the English, my father fought against the Americans and my uncle against the Argentinians." The friend replied: " It seems that your family can't get along with anybody!" GPerri Milano
So little Johnny comes home from school knowing damn well he messed up his math test, his mother and father gets home and he tells them " mom I failed my math test" his mother aggressively says "get the belt" Johnny says "why?" His mother says "im gonna spank you for failing" Johnny says "so just like daddy?" His father turns red knowing what they did last night
If orphans aren’t religious, they really have no father. 😂
A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Well... My oldest son just came out..." The man finishes the shots and leaves the bar. The next day, the man comes back and orders four shots. "What now?" the bartender asks. "My middle son just came out." The man finishes his drinks and leaves. He comes back the next day and orders five shots. "Again?" the bartender asks. "Yeah. My youngest son." He drinks his shots and leaves. The next day, he comes in again. This time, he orders ten shots. "My God! Is there anyone in your family that likes girls??" the bartender asks. "Yeah... My wife."
