Family jokes
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home base is.
What is the difference between an orphan and a criminal?
Only one is wanted.
What do a 14 year old and the fetus inside her both think?
"Man, my mom's going to kill me!"
Why did the orphan go to church?
Because they need a father.
Son: I love you, Dad.
Dad gets in car and drives away.
Kid: Hey, Dad.
Dad: You're an hour late.
Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.
Dad: By yourself?
Kid: No.
Dad: A boy?
Kid: I was with the teacher.
I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like carrots!"
An orphan finds a genie.
Orphan: "My first wish is to be rich."
Genie: "Of course."
Orphan: "My second wish is to be famous."
Genie: "Done."
Orphan: "I wish my parents could come back!"
Genie: "I told you I can't bring people back from the dead!"
Knock knock, Who's there? Dad. You came back?
If you punch an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
What do you call an octopus dad?
An octodad.
My brother: What are you looking at?
Me: A mistake.
Two wrongs don't make a right. Take your parents as an example.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your dad.
But my dad's dead.
I know, just reminding you!
"F" stand for family, that's why "orphan" is spelled with "ph."
Me: "I came home laughing."
Parents: "What's wrong?"
Me: "The teacher asked everyone a question. Luckily, I was the only one who knew."
Parents: "Good for you, Johnny. What was the fantastic question your teacher gave everyone and only you knew?"
Me: "Well, it's kinda complicated, but here it goes."
Parents: "What is it?"
Me: "Who farted?"
Two brothers play on the street. One of them finds a condom on the ground. Not knowing what it is, they go to their mum and ask what it is that they found. Mum gets mad and yells to throw that away immediately.
Guys go back to the yard, surprised why their mum got mad for just latex. One of them says: "Why did mum get so angry?" The other: "I have no idea, thankfully we did not tell her that we've eaten the yogurt inside!"
Why don’t orphans have phones?? Because their parents can’t buy them one.
Most states: "It's ok, it won't be awkward. We're still friends." Alabama: "She didn't wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she'll still be my sister."