Family jokes
I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.
We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.
What’s the difference between you and an orphan...
NOTHING!
Do you know why orphans don't have parents?
Because no one raised you.
We have Build-A-Bear; meanwhile, orphans have Build-A-Mom, or if they’d rather, Build-A-Dad.
Daddy, harder!
Memes
Kid: Hey, why am I an orphan?
Adult: I don't know, ask your parents.
How do you make an orphan clap until his hands bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home.
You know what orphans and Batman have in common? They'll both never see their parents again.
What's the difference between a dog and an orphan? The dog gets picked.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad.
Why do orphans hate baseball so much?
Because they can't run home.
Why can’t orphans have an iPhone?
Because they can’t find the home button!
My mom told me to recycle the trash. I guess I’m taking you for another bike ride!
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
"Go frick a cow!"
"I already fricked your mother."
Why do orphans suck at baseball? Because they never could play catch.
Mommy?
Yo mama is so nonverbal that she’s Boss Baby.
Kid on Xbox: I'm not a virgin. Ask your sister.
Bully on Xbox: I don't have a sister, dumbass.
Kid on Xbox: You will in 9 months.
What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, they haven't got family.