Family jokes
If you want an orphan joke, just look in a mirror.
The kid's dad was a magician because he disappeared and never came back.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
They can never do a home run.
I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.
I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"
Your mama is so ugly whenever she threw a boomerang, it refused to come back.
What's it like to have the best daughter in the world? You'll have to ask grandma!
Your mama's like a cardboard box: open to the public and easy to nail.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
What is the difference between the pizza guy and my dad?
The pizza guy shows up when you call him.
Brings a whole new meaning to brotherly love.
What’s worse than banging your sister?
Having to wear your dad’s wedding ring.
Your dad is so smart, he took one look at you and left.
Why do some kids have water with their cereal?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
I finally asked my deadbeat dad what makes him happy. His answer? He hasn't gotten back to me.
"Dad, did you get a haircut?"
"No, I got them all cut!"
How do you make a mime cry?
You kill his family right in front of his stupid face.
I walked in on my little sister when she was naked.
The thing I have to say is that my little sister is a big sister with big tits & ass with juicy lips upstairs & downstairs. I say whoever is going to be my brother-in-law is going to be a very happy person.
Why didn’t the train kill nine families of four?
Because he had no loco-MOTIVE. AHAHAH
What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?
The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They can't see their parents.