Family jokes
I once told an orphan to go big or go home. He replied, "I can't get home; it got bombed."
I walked into an orphanage and a kid was crying. I asked him what was wrong and he said some kids were bullying him. I told him to go tell his parents.
I sold my vacuum the other day.
All I got was dust and my mom's wig.
Me: Where's your mom?
Kid: [cries]
Me: [leaving from the adoption center]
What’s the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
Lil Johnny looked in his pants and couldn’t find his fish, so he started to yell out, "Lil fishy, lil fishy, lil fishy!" They called child support and sent the parents to jail for putting a fish up a child’s butt.
Daughter: "I know this is weird, but I feel like someone is watching me when I am sleeping."
Father: "Sorry."
They killed a whole family of crows... It was a murder!
They killed a bunch of ravens... What a conspiracy!
Why couldn't an orphan play baseball?
He couldn't find home plate.
Why do orphans go to church?
So they have someone to call father.
What do my mom and a basketball have in common?
My mom's tits and ass are bouncy, just like a basketball.
I fucked your mum last night, that she was salty.
Teacher: I was an orphan as a child.
Student: Sorry to hear.
Teacher: Is anyone missing today?
Student: Your parents.
I want to die peacefully like my uncle, but I don’t own a car or have a garage.
Why can't orphans go to a school field trip?
Because he needs the parent's signature.
Dad: Where is my son?
Son: Come join me with musical chairs, except we stand on them.
Dad: Ok, so do we put this round our neck?
Son: YES!
Mum: AHHHHHHHHHHHH
Why did the strawberry cry? -- Because his mother was in a jam.
Why did the orphan sleep outside? ... Because he gets to wake up to Mother Nature.
What did Allan say to his sister bully when she stepped on his toe? "Mitosis!"
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.