Family jokes

Have a child you don't want? Just drop them off at a school they don't know and drive away.

How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.

What is the difference between an orphan and a bandit?

One's wanted.

Why can't orphans be gay? They don't know their daddy.

You know what orphans and Batman have in common? They'll both never see their parents again.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

Why do orphans hate baseball so much?

Because they can't run home.

My grandma just died from cancer.

My last words to her were “I like your cut, G.”

What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? The Parent Trap.

Why can't an orphan have sex?

They have no one to call "daddy."

An orphan thinks he finally sees his mom, but then he realizes it's air.

Why can't orphans use phones? Because they don't know where the home button is.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball? Because they can never find home.

What do you do when you're bored?

Beat up an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?

Why do orphans hate any milk?

Their dad did not come back for 10 years. Oh, sorry, he got lost in the store! 🤧

What do orphans and blind kids have in common: They both can't see their parents.

Why did the orphan play Monopoly? To at least get some money. #fake

Huggy Wuggy and Kissy Missy had a baby.

They never gave him a name, so they just played cut the rope with him...

People shouldn't worry about how orphans would feel reading these jokes. It's not like they have parents to buy them a phone or computer to see them, or even a place to charge them even if they did have one.

Kid on Xbox: I'm not a virgin. Ask your sister.

Bully on Xbox: I don't have a sister, dumbass.

Kid on Xbox: You will in 9 months.