Family jokes
Yo mama so fat that when she sat on the couch, the couch got destroyed.
Why are orphans always sad?
Because their parents aren't there to cheer them up.
Why do orphans only have 354 days?
'Cause they are missing Mothers and Fathers day!
Guess whose parents didn't survive?
Liv's parents.
My grandpa unplugged the AC, so I unplugged his life support.
I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."
My sister is so annoying. She won $10,000 to go to hell.
Why do orphans love going to church?
Because they can call someone "father."
Why did the orphan fall off the mountain? Because his parents let go.
A father of five puts on a gas mask and a hazard suit and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked, "Dad, what are you wearing?"
The father answered with, "A costume for Halloween."
The child asked, "Can I join?" He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. After that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy."
What do you say when you sister's annoying you?
Go oasis (go away sis)!
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can never find home.
Why is the orphan so dumb?
Because he didn’t have parents to pay for it.
When someone says you're adopted, say, "But you're still at the orphanage."
Your family tree looks like a circle 💀💀💀
Why can't orphans have an iPhone?
'Cause they can't find the home button.
What’s the difference between criminals and orphans?
Only one is wanted.
Hello, I am Ren, sister of Gwen.
What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?
Cocaine.