Family jokes
What's your mom and a dog got in common?
Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.
What's one thing your dad shares with black men? Your sister.
What does your mom say when she is working?
Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.
Why didn’t the train kill nine families of four?
Because he had no loco-MOTIVE. AHAHAH
What’s worse than banging your sister?
Having to wear your dad’s wedding ring.
Memes
What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?
The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.
Teacher: *Reads mythological story about a cyclops*
Me: Does he have one eye cause he's from an incestual family in Alabama?
What is the difference between me and the Twin Towers?
My mom was only airplane feeding me a spoon.
Question: Did you know that "diarrhea" is hereditary?
Answer: It "runs" in your jeans!
Why do cops never put orphans in jail?
Because they aren't wanted.
An orphan walks into a shop but gets lost, so he calls his mum but then remembers.
Sometimes orphans can't win spelling bees because they don't know how to spell "home."
A teacher wanted to sing, so she did. This is what she said:
"You have no family, even though you're broker than me."
"One man's trash is another man's treasure" is a great thing to say to someone; horrible way to find out you're adopted.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't run home.
Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.
Jake: Can I go outside?
Mom: Did you clean your room?
Jake: No.
Mom: Then f*ck no.
Jake: Alright, bet.
(Brother named No)
Orphans and Chinese people can’t play baseball. The orphans can’t find home, and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.
Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?
Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because it can never find home.