Family jokes

If you can't see your family... you're an orphan.

I like to make your mom jokes.

Because they're easy like your mom.

Why do orphans go to church?

They have someone to call "father" there.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Because they can’t find their way home.

If you want an orphan joke, just look in a mirror.

The kid's dad was a magician because he disappeared and never came back.

Why can’t an orphan play baseball?

They can never do a home run.

I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.

I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"

Your mama is so ugly whenever she threw a boomerang, it refused to come back.

What's it like to have the best daughter in the world? You'll have to ask grandma!

Your mama's like a cardboard box: open to the public and easy to nail.

Knock, knock.

"Who's there?"

Not your dad.

What is the difference between the pizza guy and my dad?

The pizza guy shows up when you call him.

Brings a whole new meaning to brotherly love.

What’s worse than banging your sister?

Having to wear your dad’s wedding ring.

Your dad is so smart, he took one look at you and left.

Why do some kids have water with their cereal?

Because their dad never came back with the milk.

I finally asked my deadbeat dad what makes him happy. His answer? He hasn't gotten back to me.

"Dad, did you get a haircut?"

"No, I got them all cut!"

How do you make a mime cry?

You kill his family right in front of his stupid face.