Family jokes
"One man's trash is another man's treasure" is a great thing to say to someone; horrible way to find out you're adopted.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't run home.
Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.
Jake: Can I go outside?
Mom: Did you clean your room?
Jake: No.
Mom: Then f*ck no.
Jake: Alright, bet.
(Brother named No)
Orphans and Chinese people can’t play baseball. The orphans can’t find home, and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.
Memes
Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?
Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because it can never find home.
Yo momma so dumb, when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.
Mummy, how was I born?
Mummy replied, "Well, your father and I got married, and soon I became fat and you came out, and then in, out, in, out, and after you did that a million times, you were born."
Luke asks his friend, "How old is your father?"
James replied, "He's as old as me."
Luke then said, "It doesn't make any sense."
James then said, "He became my father when I was born."
Why did the man get run over?
Ur mom XD
Why did my parents walk to the other side?
...Why?
What did Osama Bin Laden's kids not inherit after his death?
His hide-and-seek skills.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? Because they can't tell their parents.
College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you, or they'll send your kid back.
I like to make your mom jokes.
Because they're easy like your mom.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t find their way home.
If you want an orphan joke, just look in a mirror.
Orphans are so vulnerable; they have no parents to tell. - Masai
Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?
Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."
Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"
Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.