Family jokes
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy/mommy."
Your mom is so small that she can fit in the luggage.
Never let an orphan watch Fast and the Furious.
All they will talk about is how great their family is.
How do I make my dick disappear?
I put it in your dad.
How are orphans and apples different?
One gets picked.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home.
I was walking in a park today and a little girl I asked, "Where are your parents?" She said, "Gone. My dad went to go get the milk and never came back," and I said, "Oof."
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't go home.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home run is.
Why can't the orphan play baseball?
Because he does not know where home is.
My brother thinks he's cool when he just SMELLS.
Orphans got me like: 😂
I bought my son a wheelchair for his birthday—turns out he couldn’t get in it.
How do you get an orphan's hands to bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home!
What did mum say when grandpa called?
Boomerang.
Why do orphans like fucking other dads?
Because they get to have a daddy.
An orphan saw a tornado, and he thought he saw his mom, but then he realized it was a corpse and said, "Hi, Dad!"
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can never score home.