Family jokes
My sister's boyfriend was coming around for Christmas Day. He had the option of two birds to tuck into: Turkey or Goose.
I said, "Are you not satisfied with my sister, who is literally handing herself on a plate to you?!"
Ur mama so fat that when she went to the ocean, all the whales started singing, "We are family," even knowing your fatter than me.
Why can’t an orphan play soccer?
If he can’t find home, he can’t find goal.
Me and my stepmom went into the forest.
I think I hid the body pretty well, but now I have to hide the gun.
Sans: Pap, your spaghetti is bonearific.
PaprUs: Sans, no. Aw, your funny bone is not working; come on, that one was a rib tickler.
Yo mama is so fat that I could write 3 paragraphs, and she still wouldn’t fit.
If a homeschooled kid kills his parents, is it considered a school shooting?
Why do most orphans cook for themselves?
They don't have a home cook.
An orphan asked if they could move into my house yesterday. I said, "Don't you have a family?"
Your hairline is so fat that when you meet Santa, you're fatter than him and your mom.
These jokes are fun for the whole family to enjoy.
Amelia is hotter than my mum 696969696.
A father of a young girl comes to meet the doctor.
Father: Doctor, how is my daughter's report?
Doctor: Congrats, your daughter is pregnant.
Father: WTF ?????? My daughter is 10 years old and unmarried!
I started crying when Dad was chopping onions.
Onions was a good dog.
Mom: Son, did you go to school?
Son: What if I said yes?
Mom: You are in school! *slap*
Son: Mom, I am moving out and I am moving in with my girlfriend.
Mom: You are with...? Please don't move out =(
Son: Mom, stop! So what if I am moving out? I am moving into my girlfriend's home. It's only for school.
Mom: Well, you are kicked out of my home!
Son: Good.
Mom: I am sad now. Why did he move out?
If you like it, please commit down.
Friend: Hi, orphan.
Orphan: Tell me a yo momma joke.
Friend: ummm
Orphan: Exactly, U can't.
Friend: Yo momma so disappointed she left!
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple? An apple gets picked.
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it's a family company...
Why can orphans play baseball?
They can’t find home plate.
Sonic says if you're bored, go punch an orphan. I mean, what are they going to do, tell their parents?