Family jokes
I made a website for orphans.
Unfortunately, it does not have a home page.
I heard World War 50000000 in my parent's room.
I heard World War 500000 in my parents'.
Me: I have a dream.
Mom: What?
Me: For you to fucking shut up.
Roses are red, violets are violets, my dad died in 9/11 and he was a good pilot.
Yo mama so clueless, she sat on the TV to watch the couch.
I spit on an orphan. What is he going to do? Tell his parents?
Why are orphans bad at baseball? They can never find home.
My mom told me a joke she made 13 years ago, but she didn't tell me what it was... Anyways, I'm turning 14 next month.
Yo mama is so stupid, because when she gave birth to you, she asked for a receipt!
I remember asking my mum: "What's a couple?"
She replied, "Two or three."
Which probably explains her collapsed marriage.
As a kid, I was made to walk the plank.
Because we couldn't afford a dog.
My mom was poor, so we had nothing to eat. I slept on the floor, but now I'm rich, rich, rich 😜
Why do orphans want to get married so bad?
To have someone to call "daddy."
Why do orphans like to go to church?
It is the only place where they can call a father.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple gets picked.
Why do orphans play GTA?
So they can get wanted.
My little sister called my name a few minutes after I put her to bed. She told me that there was something in her closet. I checked the closet and told her there was nothing there, but told her she could still sleep in my room with me. I was thinking that was the best way to get her out of the room before he noticed I saw him.
What do you call a grown up with your sister? Your best friend.
Hola! This is when I pranked my mom! I took a fake lobster and put it in the toilet. The fake lobster was in your attic, used for lobster parties, but anyway, I put the fake lobster in the toilet, so when my mom comes in she will find it and overreact to it. Well, she did not overreact, she FREAKED OUT OVER IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
First she screamed and then she looked at it and she saw it was fake. laterrrrrrr that's the prankster!
Mom! (DYM 10)