New Family Jokes - Page 226 - Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call a bruised banana?

A school bus full of his kids.

A boy and girl in high school started dating for a while and things were going so well that the girl decided to invite the boy on a weekend trip. She said, "I want you to come spend the weekend at our lakehouse and meet my parents. While we're there, I'd also like to take our relationship to the next level." "I'm there," the boy replied.

The boy was so excited that he ran straight to the pharmacy to pick up some protection. He walked up to the pharmacist and told him about his weekend to come and said he needed some condoms. The pharmacist asked, "Do you want the 3 pack, 6 pack, or family sized 24 pack?" The boy replied, "I plan on getting busy all weekend. I'm not gonna stop pounding her till I'm black and blue. Give me the family pack." "Sure thing," said the pharmacist.

That weekend the boy went to the lakehouse and the whole family was sitting down at the dinner table to pray. The girl's father asked the boy to say grace. The boy prayed and prayed. Almost ten minutes went by. Finally, the girl leaned over to the boy and said, "You never told me that you were so religious." The boy replied, "You never told me that your dad was a pharmacist."

What’s the difference between the milk and drugs?

My dad brought the drugs back, not the milk though! 😭

Money and my mom are kinda the same thing; they come and leave easily.

Why does this website have a home page? It's an orphan joke waiting to happen.

Why did mommy disappear? The dad: Well, when she crossed the road to get to the chicken, she only made it halfway.

My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better, so I sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wife's broken leg.

Why can’t orphans have an iPhone?

Because they can’t hit the home button.

"Never going to give you up." That's not what the orphan's parents said.

I don't like the term "kidnapping." I prefer "surprise adoption."

Do you know why Daddy never comes back to get the milk? Because he’s the milkman.

Orphan: My mommy and daddy love me.

Guy: Where are they then?

Orphan: In the eternal depths of [hell].

Guy: Are you gay? I'm orphan.

Orphans: Where are my parents?

Random person: In the bed.

What was the orphan's first video game console?

PS5 because it has no home button.

What did the adopted poker player say?

"Will you raise me?"

How to get rich:

Step 1: Tell an orphan he will get a family.

Step 2: Knock out the orphan.

Step 3: Cut open the orphan.

Step 4: Well there [are] organs.

Step 5: Do it again.

And nobody will call the cops 'cause they got no family.

Can we please stop the fricking drama! I see people bullying other people, too. Gwen is not the only one. For God's sake, just do jokes! If you want to bully someone, do it in your family! You people don't even know each other, but we're still doing this stupid nonsense! Just make jokes, people! That is why it's called "Worst Jokes Ever," not "Bully People Ever." So shut up and get a life, dum-dums! Geez! The only reason why I come here is to spread jokes and kindness like Gwen and others, not to spread hate and foolishness from people who don't even know better things to do but to hate on stupid strangers from different parts of the fricking world!!!!

"Addison, shut up. You're only 8 years old. What do you know?"

I might be 8, but at least I got some sense, and plus, I'm way smarter than you guys anyway. I'm in alert. You know, like a very, very, very intelligent kid! That can spell instead of saying "u," I say the true "you," instead of "pls," it's "please." Sorry if I did mean it... which I don't!