Family jokes
What’s the worst thing to happen to an orphan?
Well, they weren’t always orphans.
What is hard to find but easy to make?
An orphan.
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
Because they need a parent signature.
I made a website for orphans.
Unfortunately, it doesn't have a home page.
What is an orphan's dream?
To get on top of the wanted list! 🤣
When your mom tells you to stop playing on the computer, you say, "Foot you!"
One day, the milkman came to drop off milk.
The boy asked the milkman, "Do you know where my dad is?"
The milkman replies, "I am your dad," then runs off like Batman!
My friend: You're ugly.
The orphanage: That's what I said to all my children.
The Sunday school teacher is a little concerned that his kids might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, “Where is Jesus today?”
Little Suzy replies, “He’s in heaven.”
Little Mary replies, “He’s in my heart.”
Little Johnny says, “He’s in the bathroom!”
The teacher says, “How do you know this?”
Then little Johnny says, “Well, every morning my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, “Jesus Christ are you still in there!?””
My dad still hasn’t come back with the milk. Now we are stuck eating dry cereal.
I got my son a trampoline for his birthday.
The ungrateful boy sat in his wheelchair the whole time.
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
He didn't know where home was.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your parents.
Me: Why am I an orphan?
Friend: I don't know.
Me: Ask your mom.
Yo mama is so hairy, when you were born, you got carpet burns!
Stranger: Knock knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Stranger: Not your parents.
Do you know why orphans don't have parents?
Because no one raised you.
What’s the difference between you and an orphan...
NOTHING!
What do you call an orphan's parents?
Dead meat.
Mom: Are you seriously gonna die?
Me: No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing I'll do.