Family

Family jokes

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Uncle

  • Roses are red, violets are blue, like my hole, Uncle Bill is making me full, better run here he comes!

    Orphanage

  • Mom: Kid, bring your toys and clothing to the car. We're going to Disney Land.

    Kid: Ok.

    *Bring kid to the orphanage*.

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    Inbreeding

  • I'm not saying you're inbred. I'm just saying you're a textbook example of why consanguineous marriage might not be the best idea.

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  • Orphan

  • What is the difference between a tall kid and an orphan? One is tall enough that their parents can see them.

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    Orphan

  • I saw some kid following me, so I told him to go back to his family.

    Orphan: "What family?"

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  • Orphan

  • Why are orphans always on the toilet?

    Because they don't have anyone to give them some toilet paper!

    Orphan

  • What's the one upside to being an orphan?

    You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.

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    Grandpa

  • I will always remember my grandpa's last words after robbing a bank: "Oh, shit! The pigs are catching up!" But the cops did not kill him; he drove full speed off a cliff.

    Teacher

  • I was happy to find I could get a passing grade in all my subjects if I had sex with my teacher, until I remembered I'm home schooled.

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