Family

Family jokes

Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?

Kid: Why?

Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.

Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.

Man: Why?

Kid: I'm an orphan.

Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!

(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")

An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.

Why do orphans like Minecraft? So they can build a home...

But a creeper blows it up.

My mom said, "Why did I adopt you?"

I said, "Because the other three were mistakes."

Wife: Stop telling rape jokes, it's not funny. Husband: Who raped you this morning?

I asked my dad what his previous job was. He said: "I was a post until I met your mother."

What's the difference between Vin Diesel and an orphan?

Vin Diesel actually has family.

What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?

One of them has someone to mourn them.

Why is an orphan into worshiping Satan?

'Cause they get to call someone "master" and be freaky.

Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?

Kid: I don't know why.

Man: Because they have a family plan.

Kid: Well, I need to get another phone service now.