Family jokes

Hey, that's the thing my grandpa has. They say that to treat it, I should call him a bitch!

Are you a marry, because you are my mother?

Stop making 9/11 jokes, guys! My uncle died in that event. He was the best Arabian pilot in the world!

Orphans are lonely.

What's an orphan's least favorite movie? Spiderman: No Way Home.

Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for his birthday?

Because it has no home button.

My dad is so good at instruments, he said he loves to finger "a minor."

I pushed an orphan and they said, "I'm telling!" I asked, "Telling who? Your parents?"

My brother apparently has this thing called "asthma". Anyway, I took his vape away today, and he was lying on the floor gasping for air, lol. He must really be addicted to it.

What do vacuums and your mom have in common?

They both suck.

My great-great-great grandpa killed Hitler.

People say my dad left me and was never successful, but if you search up who destroyed the Twin Towers, he will pop up.

Also, my mom's great grandpa killed Hitler.

Why does an orphan's year only have 363 days? Because it's missing Mother's and Father's Day.

I got a PS5 for my nine-year-old sister. At the time, I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can never get a home run. 😭

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

Why did the orphan go to church?

Because they need a father.

Kid: "Mom, I had a scary dream. Can I come sleep with you and dad?"

Mom: "Sure, sweetie, sleep in the middle."

Kid: "Dad, can you get the remote out of my back?"

Dad: "That isn't the remote."

*Weird background music*

Orphans are pretty tough. I mean, you never see them running home...

What do orphans get when they go to a bank alone?