Family jokes
Why does an orphan's year only have 363 days? Because it's missing Mother's and Father's Day.
I got a PS5 for my nine-year-old sister. At the time, I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can never get a home run. 😭
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why did the orphan go to church?
Because they need a father.
Kid: "Mom, I had a scary dream. Can I come sleep with you and dad?"
Mom: "Sure, sweetie, sleep in the middle."
Kid: "Dad, can you get the remote out of my back?"
Dad: "That isn't the remote."
*Weird background music*
Orphans are pretty tough. I mean, you never see them running home...
What do orphans get when they go to a bank alone?
What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
Jokes are like your grandparents, old and dead.
What school subject does an orphan love?
PE because they actually get picked.
Your mom said, "Can you get to the dick game?"
I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.
Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.
What's between an orphan and an apple tray?
The apples get picked.
Why can't my grandma talk?
Because she's dead.
My child: "Dad, am I beautiful?"
Me: "You’re like the sun, sweetie. You’re painful to look at."
Why aren’t orphan jokes funny?
The punchline isn’t apparent.
I sold my vacuum the other day.
All I got was dust and my mom's wig.
Me: Knock knock.
My Grandma: Who’s there?
Me: Interrupting cow.
My Grandma: Interrupting c-
[Dies from heart attack]
That's why your grandma 6 ft deep, feet!