Sleep paralysis for the first time and this is what I see except it's face and body is way more stringy and hollow.
I’m going to reenact the ending of Saw (2004), except I won’t stand up and shut the door.
Jack and Jill wanted some pills So they went to the dealer he saw they were kids and said fuck this shit then jacked rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth pills
orphans have tasted all cookies except for homemade ones
Your hairline legit looks the Himalayan mountain range except you need binoculars to find it
It was raining sadly all day my wife my 2 daughters and me stuck in the house when wife’s mom and dad just died
Wife:😭😭😭I wish this never happened
Mia our first daughter: momy it’s ok I love whenever I see you🥰🥰
Abby our second daughter: I love u all only if you guys die I won’t but I love you when ur alive 😉😏
Me husband: what kind of nonsense was that you love us when we’re alive but you don’t love us when we’re dead🤥😥😓
Everyone except abby: abby this is serious mommy’s mother and father died. says Mia: yes your mom is sadly down right now you made her more sad😡🤬.says dad:sniffs* abby I had made a discussion I will take to an orphanage I am sorry 😣 when I amd better and happy and I forgot what you said then we’ll get you back.says mom:
This was not a joke I just did this for Love 💕
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it...we're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
I saw a kid with no phone. I gave him a iphone 14.
except it had no home button.
Why are fat people fat? Because they eat like Indians eating curry except fat people eat many more portions
So the other day I was looking up zodiac sign stuff you know im a real big fan of that and I come across this thing and it’s like all zodiac signs have there own hairstyles... except cancer.
Best way to trick your friends:
A brick falls out of a plane.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.
Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.
I was at a restaurant and a waitress yelled "dose anyone know CPR" i said "i know the whole alphabet"everyone laughed and laughed well everyone except one.
Did you know that in 2001 there was an among us game except that it was on a plane and had two imposters.
I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling alsleep (including him)
When I die I what to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or," You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"
What does Justin Bieber and a rabbit have in common?
They're both adorably cute and everyone loves them except for Justin Bieber.
Africa has every gun except for what
A water gun
i have an announcement, shadow the hedgehog is a bitch ass motherfucker he pissd on my fucking wife and he said he dick was this big and i said that's disgusting so im making a callout post on my twitter dot com shadow u got a small dick it looks like this walnut except way smaller
I asked my class what comes before 47 everyone said 46 except for the quiet kid who sad ak
All zodiac signs have a signature hairstyle except for cancer. :)
-Dark_Humor
