Don't Jokes

Why do some couples make their status "single" after a small argument? Like, I don't put "orphan" after I get into an argument with my family.

like this if you don't like school

Someone asked me why I'm Still here...the answer is simple I don't want to be used as a school assembly

What’s the difference between the twin towers and an airplane landing strip? Don’t know, neither did my dad

Kid: "Hey dad, what's dark humor?"

Dad: "Go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him."

Kid: "But dad, I don't have any legs or arms."

Dad: "Exactly, son."

I don’t know what’s worse: Finding bucket loads of porn on my dad’s laptop, or finding out he was in all of them

Why are feminists jealous of men? because men don't have to stand up to piss

Me: Knock knock....Friend: who's there? Me: I don't know anymore

I'd hit you, but I don't want to go to jail for animal abuse.

What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?

I don't know. He hasn't opened it yet.

There was a kidnapping at school.

Don't worry, he woke up.

Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.

I don't like to use the word kidnapping. So I just use the term: surprise adoption

So I went out to eat the other day, and the waitress came up to me and asked if I wanted a glass of water. I said "Yes ma'am." She said "Oh honey, you don't have to call me ma'am, I'm not that old." I said "Okay, thanks bitch."

My friends: ugh why are you so lazy and no fun My parents: why can't u be like ur siblings My teacher: I don't care if ur depressed focus on ur study! The songs: we understand you :)

Lmao idiots don't know how to play Jenga.

There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.

Why can't two Chinese people have a white baby? Because "two wongs don't make a white."

Teacher: Ok class I'm going to ask a question about your family. Alex: Miss my Dad died In 9/11 Teacher: OH NO IM SO SORRY! Alex: Don't worry miss It was only Dad and besides he did what he wanted before he died. Teacher: What was that? Alex: Flew the plane.