Doctors jokes
Why was the North Tower a bad doctor when the South Tower collapsed?
Because the North Tower didn’t do CPR.
Why did the house go to the doctor?
Because it had a window pane.
A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, “You have to help me, I think I’m shrinking.”
“Now settle down,” the doctor calmly told him. “You'll just have to learn to be a little patient.”
Why did Daveon go to the doctor?
Because he was feeling "Daveon" in the dumps.
Daveon says, "Oh wow, she's so beautiful!" The doctor then says, "Yes, but sadly, your wife didn't make it..." Daveon then states, "Give me the one my wife made then!"
Memes
What did the doctor say to the mother after delivering the baby? Sorry.
The only doctor you have is Doctor Pepper.
What do you call a Panera Bread doctor?
A Panera med.
What is a similarity between priests and doctors?
They both have fetishes for their professions.
I broke my arm in two places. You know what the doctor told me? Stay out of those places!
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away.
Orphan: But why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
A doctor walks into his office and looks his patient in the eyes, "Sir, you have to stop jerking off."
The man asks, "Why?"
The doctor then says, "Because I'm trying to examine you."
Why can't Oregon go to the doctor?
Because they need parents' signature.
What TV series do orphans hate?
"House, M.D."
I tell my therapist I’m scared of the 3rd, 9th, and 15th letter of the alphabet.
Doctor: Oh, I see.
Me: Ahhhh!!!!!
The doctor said I had two years to live, so I shot him. The warden gave me 50. Problem solved!
A man walks into a doctor's office, naked and wrapped in Glad Wrap.
The doctor replies with: "I can clearly see your nuts."
Went to the doctor, told him I've been having dreams, first about a wigwam, then about a teepee. He said I was too tense.
Doctor: You should stop masturbating.
Me: Doc, I'm almost done.
Unbelievable! When doctors touch my body, it’s alright, but if I do the same to some lady, apparently it’s "harassment!"