Doctor: congratulations!!! Women: was it a successful delivery? Doctor: no it’s DiGiorno!
My hemorrhoids are so bad, I’ve had toilet bowls that looked like abortions.
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma. After 6 months she woke. She asked the doctor "hows the baby?" "You had twins" the doctor replied. "Your brother named them" the woman said *oh no not my brother what did he call them?" "He called the girl Denise" "what about the boy" the woman asked the doctor said "denephew"
up into the sky so very far here comes Dr. Seuss ALLAHU AKBAR, at the ripe old age of 97 he committed 9/11
you think people with glasess are smart but they fail the eye doter test
A book went to the doctors office and said:”doctor doctor, I’ve got thesaurus throat ever😂😂
Unbelievable! When doctors touch my body, it’s alright, but if I do the same to some lady apparently it’s “harassment!”
What did the grandma say at the hospital when you pulled the tube?...................
*COUGHS ROUGHLY* OH MY GOD IT HURTS SO MUCH I CANT SEE IT BURNS HELP !!! HELP !!! HELP !!! HELP *Weakly* !
Man goes to a doctor says he's having problems shitting so the doctor gives him so enama and says he needs to do it a few times at home but does the first one for him so the guy bends over the table lubs him up and shoves it deep in him and he yells. so later the man goes home and tells his wife he needs her help with the enama so he bends over she lubs him up puts a hand on his shouler and she shoves it up there and he starts screaming and cussing and the wife asks did I hurt u? He said no I just realized when the doctor did it he had both hands on my shoulders
Your'e moama is so funey looking that when the doctor called her he said never visit me againe I hope you dye
Went to the doctor told him Ive been having dreams first about a wigwam then about a teepee he said I was 2 tents
I wish the doctor would prescribe me some medicine that's actually useful like cyanide
Lil Jimmy:hey doc Doctor:hi sorry but I can’t see u any more Lil Jimmy:why Doctor: because Lil Jimmy I’m a family doctor your an orphan Lil Jimmy:👁👄👁🖕
Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks... "Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?"
"Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That's why grandpa has to take the blue pills."
Doctor: You should stop masturbating. Me: Doc, I'm almost done.
An orphan goes to a doctor. Doctor: Sorry I can't help you Orphan: But why? Doctor: I'm a family doctor
dear doctor
ive heard its a good sign when women scream your first name during sex but recently women have been screaming my full name. its weird, i feel like im famous. Can you tell me what this means?
Yours Truly Ray Palp
Kid at wish I wish I could be Batman doctor okay shoots mum and dad doctor I guess now you’ll have to be gay you wanted to be like Batman
Friend: Your t-shirt is cringe. Me: you should go get the Covid test because one of their symptoms is no taste
