Docter jokes
Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."
Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"
Why did the ball person go to the doctor?
He was kicked in the balls.
The only doctor you have is Doctor Pepper.
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees, and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing.
They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing, then his friend calls and he is groaning. He said he was having cramps, so the husband tells the doctor, "Doc, turn it up to 40%!" So he does, and his friend throws up, so he said, "Doc, turn it up to 100%!" and his friend dies.
Why didn't the orange go to the doctor?
Because he had vitamin C.
Patient: I am sorry, it is my first surgery.
Doctor: Don't worry, mine too.🫡👍
I told the doctor I didn’t want a brain surgery. But he changed my mind.
A doctor walks up to a dying man and sadly says: "I'm sorry, the test shows you only have 10 more to live."
The man says "10!? 10 what!? Years? Weeks? Days? What?!!?"
The doctor calmly replies "Nine".
"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible."
"Well, tell him I can't see him right now."
I'm a family doctor and I wish I could help but... you're an orphan.
A guy is at home and he's about to go get a physical at the doctor's office. When he gets there, the doctor says, "Brian, you're going to have to stop masturbating." He asked the doc why? The doc said, "So I can examine you!"