Do jokes
What do you call someone who points out the obvious? Someone who points out the obvious.
I’m giving in my two week resignation to life... it’s not you ... it’s me!!!
What do you call a joke without a punchline?
What do you call a happy child swinging with her friends at recess?
Not Sally.
Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don't C#.
Memes
Why do self-harmers "draw" on their arms?
Because everything they do is in vein.
Punchline: "Vain" sounds similar to "Vein".
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.
What can an Olympic runner do that Hitler can't?
Finish a race.
What do you get when you cross jokes and cum?
CUMedy.
What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."
A blind man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says, "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" The blind guy responds with, "No, I don't wanna tell it that many times."
What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?
Artificial Intelligence.
What do jokesters eat for breakfast? Pun-cakes.
What do you call a bee that lives in America? A USB.
What do you call an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.
What do you call a fish that smokes? "A puffer."
Why do they make glow-in-the-dark condoms?
So gay people can play Star Wars.
Why do black people only have nightmares? Because the last one who had a dream was shot.
What do the movies The 6th Sense and Titanic have in common?
Icy dead people.
How do you make a fruit punch?
You give it a pair of boxing gloves.