Do jokes
Q: If George Washington was alive today, what would he do?
A: Scratch mercilessly at the coffin walls, while screaming at the top of his lungs!
What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer? A Father-in-law.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
My asian neighbors dinner.
Why do orphans bully people?
Because they can't get suspended.
Contact Parent _______
Me walking in to the office:
Principal: Tell me, what did you do?
Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...
Memes
What do kidnappers and Mickey Mouse have in common? They say, "Come inside, it’s fun inside."
A boy breaks a vase, and his mom says it's ok, honey, mistakes happen. How do you think you were born?
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? -- Canned food.
What do you call milk that gets everything she wants?
Spoiled milk.
What do you call a bunch of depressed kids with AK47s?
Suicide squad. 😂😂😂
How do you escape a French prison?
Yell angrily in German!
There was a man named Matt that went to the church to confess one of his most recent sins. He told the priest, "I am here to tell you my sins." He was all for it and said, "Go ahead."
Matt, "Father, last night I almost cheated on my wife."
Priest, "How so?"
Matt, "We were together naked, but we didn't do anything, just rubbed each other, that's all."
Priest, "RUBBING TOGETHER IS THE SAME THING AS PUTTING IT IN! For your sins you must never see that woman again and put $50 in the donation box!"
Matt, "Okay, I promise not to see her again."
Then Matt walks out the door.
Priest, "Hey! I saw you! You didn't put any money in the donation box!!"
Matt, "Yes I did. I took the money and rubbed it against the box because you said rubbing it is the same thing as putting it in."
What do you call a bad amputation?
A rip-off.
Why do orphans go to the ancient pyramids for vacation?
In hope to find a mummy.
What do you call a mushroom 🍄 with many friends?
A fungi.
What do you call an autistic kid who just saw Transformers? Autistimus Prime.
How do you get more presents from Santa? You tickle his sack.
⚠️I’m not racist it’s just a joke⚠️
What do you call four black ppl in a sleeping bag?
A Kit Kat
What do you call an autistic kid coming to school with a gun?
Special Forces incoming!
What do you call a gay kid that killed himself?
A byebyesexual.