Do jokes
You can easily outrun a midget because they have to run twice as much as you do.
Best way to trick your friends:
A brick falls out of a plane.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.
Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.
What do you call a Mexican that dives into a pool? Bean dip.
How do you start a dance party?
Go into the PTSD ward of an insane asylum and set off fireworks and watch the magic unfold.
Why do people keep saying, "Why did the toilet paper not cross?" Because it got stuck in the crack, because it got stuck in their crack.
Memes
What do a "transgender" woman's favorite song and his/her last online order have in common?
~they're both a dick in a box.
What do you call a Mexican midget?
A paragraph, because he's not a full essay.
When you see a deer, what do you say?
"Oh deer!"
What do you call it when you get away with masturbating in the shower?
You got off clean.
What do the initials BIBLE stand for?
"Bullshit In Book Lacking Evidence."
What do you call a skeleton with no bones? A boneless boy.
What do feminists and tampons have in common?
They're both stuck-up cunts.
What do you call women's rights: A blank sheet of paper.
What do you call a group of black people?
A hoodie.
What do fire and people have in common?
They will both eventually die out.
Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book.
Man 2: Aww, books aren't that bad. I'm sure she thinks you're a great son considering she can't drive anymore.
Man 1: She was in the road, and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can't drive or do anything anymore.
What do you tell a female with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you already told her twice.
What do you call a bunch of Aboriginals rolling down a hill?
Abo-lanche.
What do you call a goat?
A goat.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on his period?
Mario Kart.