Do jokes

Why do you have to watch your back at NASA? They want to probe Uranus.

Two skeleton brothers are talking.

1st bro: "Hey, get up! You and do some exercise! You are so heavy, you weigh a ton!"

2nd bro: "A skele-TON :)"

Why do Americans suck at chess? Because they lost two towers.

How do you stop a baby from drowning? pt. 2

-Harpoon it.

What do you call a Muslim who owns 6 goats? -- A pimp.

Wow, didn't know little Jhony jokes were so dark. Well, but what do you expect from a site with jokes about suicide, sex, and drugs? :-)

"Drugs?????" His eyes popped out. Well, I don't really know if there actually are-- and the exact ones... But there's so many kinds of jokes-- even chin jokes. :^))

And slice jokes!

What kind of "slices"?

Handy ones. ^_^

A black lady goes inside the drug store and asks the pharmacist, "Do you carry tampons?" Then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "Do you want the mini pads or the maxi pads?"

And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"

And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"

And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."

What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?

Unnecessary.

What time do butts get up? At the crack of dawn!!!

Why do dwarfs laugh when they run a race? Because the grass tickles their balls.

If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan! What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

What's a good way to masturbate?

Get somebody to do it for you.

Why do we not have female magicians? Because last time we had them, we burned them alive.

How do you make any salad into a Caesar salad? You stab it 23 times.

A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?"

"Yes," replies the murderer, "Can you please hold my hand?"

What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?

Posiedown.

How do you get a dishwasher to shovel snow? Give the bitch a shovel.

How do we know that the ocean is friendly? It waves.

Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks...

"Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?"

"Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea, but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That's why grandpa has to take the blue pills."

Guy: Do you know how to draw women's rights?

Girl: No, how?

Guy: All you need is a blank paper, and that's it.