Do jokes
Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
So they can get in the cast!
What do you call a person who's got their wisdom tooth removed too late?
Dumb.
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
What do you find up a ghost's nose? A BOOger.
What did Batman do when he went shopping?
Got ham!
Memes
wear sweatpants.
What do you call a smart blonde?
Nonexistent.
Q. What do you give a sick lemon?
A. Lemon-aid.
What do you do during a shooting? Why, join in, of course...
What do you call a spice with a PHD?
Dr. Pepper
Why do strippers never care about things?
Because the last time they gave a fuck, it was for $20 an hour.
Why do women hate having sex with midgets?
Because of their shortcomings.
My wife told me to stop being an idiot.
I told her, "Which one do you want?"
Why do trans women make the best golf course grounds staff?
They’re enthusiastic about getting rid of unwanted balls.
How do you stop a woman from choking?
Back up an inch.
What do you call a lesbian with braces? A box cutter.
What do Colorado and Saudi Arabia have in common?
It's legal to get stoned.
How do you blow up an Indian person?
You press the red button.
What do you call a retarded person and a stroke victim in the same bed?
Mashed potatoes.
What do you call someone who hates rape jokes? An ugly feminist that couldn't get a cock in her mouth.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.