Do jokes
How do you get Wacko Jacko to come inside your shop? Have little boys' pants half off!
COP: Are you high?
ME: If I was high, could I do this? *walks in a perfectly straight line*
COP: Wth he just walked off a cliff.
Where do otters come from? Otter space.
What type of work can orphans do? Homework.
What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?
There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.
Memes
Why do people think Jesus is going to come back? He wasn’t nailed to a fucking boomerang!
What kind of coffee do they serve at funerals?
Burial grounds.
What do astronauts eat off of? A satellite dish.
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.
What do you call a paralyzed turtle?
Shell shocked.
What kind of shorts do clouds wear?
Thunderwear.
what did the woman do after meeting up with a rapist?
sue the dating site for matching her with him.
What do you call a gang of emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
Why do orphans love drinking water? Because they have no milk to drink!
An emo kid walked to me holding a rope, and asked: "Do you want to join my family tree?"
What did the rope and the tree say to the kid?
Do you want to hang later?
What do you call a gay drive-by? A fruit roll-up.
What do you call a dead baby?
Spawn killed.
What do girls and noodles have in common?
They both wiggle when you eat them.
How do you fit 4 gay dudes on a stool?
Flip it upside down.